Wanting What I Already Have
There are strings of lights and stacks of chocolates growing in the shops, and the annual question is already hanging in the air: what do you want for Christmas? Mind you, the answer is meant to be something that fits neatly inside of wrapping paper, under a tree or in a stocking. ’Tis the season to assess what we all have and (more specifically) don’t have so that we can give each other good gifts that are actually wanted. I’m all for it. Social pressure to think about other people’s desires and happiness is a good thing, and if other people are thinking about my desires as well, that’s not bad. But as we all think hard about what everyone wants and doesn’t have yet, I’d like us to pause for a moment and remember a truth that can easily get lost in the flurry of festivities: it is possible to want what you already have.
If someone asks me what I want, my mind goes straight to the gaps—the things, the experiences, the accomplishments I haven’t tasted yet, especially the ones that look like they might improve my life or expand it in some way. The things I already have, or have already done, are disqualified for consideration. I seem to have a built-in working assumption that wanting and having are incompatible categories, that once I possess things my desires are automatically required to expand beyond them. The more I think about this assumption, the less I agree with it.
My children once asked me what I wanted most when I was growing up. As I sat at the dinner table looking at my wife and children looking back at me I remembered my childhood dreams for my life and the answer was suddenly obvious: “This. Exactly this.” I’m not saying that everything in my life has gone perfectly to plan—it certainly hasn’t. I’m not saying that there aren’t things I’m working for, striving for, that I haven’t reached yet—there certainly are. But when I pause long enough to think about it, I have to admit that I already have so much. Should I stop wanting these blessings just because I already have them? Of course not. To say the question out loud is to realise how absurd it is. The trouble is we don’t say it out loud. We don’t ask the question—we just assume and act as if the only way for us to be truly satisfied is to have just a little more of this, a little more of that, always just a little more of something.
You can want what you already have. You can enjoy it, appreciate it, and be content. It is possible. So what if we gave our gifts and held our celebrations this Christmas not just wanting what is new, but wanting even more what is already provided, what is already right in front of us? The biggest, most precious gifts have already arrived. The whole reason we celebrate Christmas is because God sent his Son to save us. No greater gift is possible. And we’re here, right now, enjoying his gift of life. There are people around us, friends and neighbours and family, and there’s the flavour of chocolate and the fun of sharing gifts with each other. This Christmas, what I want most is to want what I already have more than ever.
“Godliness with contentment is great gain” – 1 Timothy 6:6
