How Are You, Kirby?
How are you?
I’ve never liked the question. Never trusted it. Associate it mostly with doctors, professionals who I rarely if ever go to. I mean anyone close to me (my chosen intimates) will already know because they’re close to me, but others, what exactly are they asking as if they really want to know, and if they’re just being sociable/courteous buy me a drink.
The worst time being asked this question (in a room full of literary people I’d rather not) while standing there purchasing a reading poet’s title from them, a bookseller pointedly asked me how “things were going” knowing I had lost my own shop as though they ever spoke a word, cared even a smidge before then. Nope. Just being deliberately Toronto. ([Why] does anybody go out anymore? Is it just me?)
Decades ago, I made the mistake of thinking people went out to enjoy themselves. Boy, was I wrong.
When a circle of friends rallied day to day combating illnesses related to AIDS, this question was never asked. It was “What do you need, hon?” only to find out upon arrival everything’s changed. Meeting people where they are… giving/receiving a shampoo over the sink, fixing a meal together, dishing, spooning.
On a more recent visit, Andrew Steeves at Gaspereau Press in Kentville, NS asked, “Kirby, have you had a meal today?”
I didn’t know if he had a soup on he was offering, or suggesting we step out for a grilled cheese, but no, this was his way of asking if things were okay. If I had a meal today.
“Yes, Andrew, I’m good.”
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