Gene Pool

Swimming poolsare just a series of numbered walls that mock your physical inadequacies every few feet. 

You might not be tall enough to stand here.
You’re certainly not tall enough to stand here. 
You’re going to swim to here, try to touch bottom, freak when you can’t and frantically kick yourself back to the safety. We’re all going to watch and laugh. 

5 Feet — it gives me at least five inches of comfortable space between the water and the top of my head. Another inch, maybe, if I stand on my toes. It’s the only instance where standing on toes is acceptable because no one really notices. A man certainly can’t stand on his toes in a crowded bar. 

“I saw you from across the room and had to come over and buy you a drink.”
“Are you standing on your toes?”
“Well, your shoes are very high and it has put me at quite a disadvantage. Do you wear those things to wash bird shit off the top of skyscrapers?”

The world would be a different, and sad, place if every few feet a painted number, word or picture reminded people of their life failures. Every few feet a reminder that you aren’t very tall, you didn’t finish college and you can’t get sexually aroused unless you’re watching HSN.

The entire world would sink, literally, into a deep depression — all except for the Sherman Williams people. They’d make a killing off all the painting going on. 

If you found this humorous, you’ll probably like this.