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What the cum-dagger is happening, all you gross-ass beasts who splooge into the same damn sock for weeks on end, until it resembles a mythical crystal dagger that unlocks the secrets of the universe when placed into a magical groove in an ancient temple, suddenly you hear a click downstairs followed by muffled whispers, the steps creak under several pairs of feet, your door cracks open and three hooligans enter brandishing guns, swearing up and down that someone’s home and they saw a light in your room, where the fuck could you be they just saw you a goddamn second ago, unbeknownst to them you’re spread-eagled on the ceiling, clutching your cum-dagger and staring down at their heads, the second one says it doesn’t matter where you went, there’s three of them here, you’re outnumbered and cornered, to which you rasp, “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with ME!” then drop onto the closest one’s back and stab his eyes with your cum-dagger, as he’s screaming for his mom and clutching the air, you spin around, slice his partner’s throat, then jam the crusty sock into the last one’s mouth and whirl into a 540 jump-spin-hook kick, smashing the shit out of his jaw and shattering the cum-crystals in his mouth which causes his eyes to go red with burst blood vessels, as he drops to his knees you loom over him and declare, “Anyone home? Guess not. Light’s out, motherfucker.” What do you know—hitting a double 80s one-liner that references the fact that they saw someone home and a turned-on light, combined with a dose of cartoonish martial arts violence, somehow triggers a rock-hard erection! Time to start building a new cum-sock/dagger!
THAT, my friends, is why you don’t wash your cum-sock until it’s hardened into a lethal crystalline weapon! Never know when you gotta take out some amateur criminals!
Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books! First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm. Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor. Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback. I’ve just published volume 2: Weapons of Old If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank: Barbarian Valley Girl! If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo! And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them! Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors. Every one of them is SUPER appreciated! #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing
