Book Review: Kill Your Darling by Clay McLeod Chapman
Title: Kill Your Darling
Author: Clay McLeod Chapman
Release date: September 24th, 2024
When this book was released, I saw the cover art was instantly intrigued. When I saw Francois Vaillancourt describe how he made the cover art in a Facebook post, I was even more intrigued, as he mentioned a little about the synopsis of this novella. First – I’m a huge fan of Francois’ work, and will forever hold the cover he did for my book ‘Mastodon’ in a special place. Second – I’ve found things have hit differently in my reading brain now that I have a son. Books like ‘The Road,’ and Andrew Pyper’s opus, ‘The Killing Circle,’ just sing differently when reading them.
So, I went into this one tentatively. Going in, I knew that a teenaged son’s body had been found in a lot, duct-tape wrapping his face with eyes drawn on with black marker. Exactly what Francois depicts on the cover. But going in, I wondered just how far I could go? Would the subject matter be too heavy?
Only one way to find out.
What I liked: The entirety of the novella focuses on Glenn, father to Billy, who was murdered fifty-ish years ago. No suspect was ever found, leads minimal. The boy was found in an abandoned lot, after going to a school dance. Since that day, Glenn has lived with the mental destruction. Who did it? Why? Why his son? And he’s lived with the discomfort of acceptance versus closure. How can he ever move on if there’s no answer? No one arrested or confessing?
As him and his wife have aged, they’ve developed their own ways of keeping their son’s memory alive. His wife leaves an extra plate out for dinner. They’ve left his room as it was. Glenn has kept a scrap book of photos and then newspaper articles.
Chapman doesn’t hold back within. It’s a tough read. Emotions are high and this feels real, feels painful to read. I can’t think of a single chapter in here – and the chapters are all short and snappy – that didn’t have me on the brink of tears, or left me crying. And I don’t think that would be any different if I wasn’t a father. It’s the reality of this book. It’s heartbreaking. I couldn’t imagine losing a child forever and also not having any answers over the ‘why’ of it happening.
Within, Glenn – on the insistence of his wife – joins a writing class at the local library. And it’s through these classes that he begins to write his story, creating a fictional ending to his non-fiction life, a way to grieve and close the horrible chapter of Billy’s death and create something tangible that will let him have closure on those dark days and on his life itself. It’s this writing class that ultimately unravels the truth and Chapman uses that revelation to crush the readers that much more.
What I didn’t like: I think the reality is, that this just might be too much for some readers. Those who’ve lost kids, lost a loved one, or simply just can’t read anything involving a child’s death. And I completely understand that. I pushed through the horrible rock that sat heavy in my stomach, even when at times that rock weighed more than anything on the surface of the earth.
Why you should buy this: Chapman delivers a stunning and ultimately moving look at grief, acceptance, life after losing someone and how a loved one’s death can have dramatic consequences on everyone involved. This could easily be read in a single sitting, though I can’t see someone emotionally wanting to tackle that. For those looking for a heavy, but powerful read, look no further. Chapman has given us a dark, dark, bleak gem here.
5/5
