Give my books a read and a review!

What the sky-hook-to-helo-to-horseback-to-the-top-of-a-bullet-train duel is happening, all you badass action heroes who are throwing hands with a pony-tailed villain from the early 90s, as the train screams through a darkened tunnel it emerges onto a picturesque rail hundreds of feet above water but for some godawful action movie reason, it’s running out of track, so as your enemy chokes the shit out of you, you unzip your pants, reach in through the hole in the front of your undies (Ha!  Knew it had a purpose!) and pull out your giant-ass scrotum as if it was an extra wrinkly, extra hairy version of a magician’s unending scarf—

FOOMP!

—then grab them shits with both hands and turn it into an impromptu parachute, the wind yanks you back into the sunny blue sky, your attacker shakes his fist and screams DAMN YOU, DAMN YOU TO HELL as you soar away on the ugliest organ spawned by the human body while coming in hot with an 80s-style one-liner (“No balls,” and “Sack the fuck up” come to mind) the train bows again to action movie physics and explodes into a fucking mushroom-cloud fireball right as it touches the water below—

And THAT, my friends, is why you don’t talk shit about the hole in your undies!  Who the fuck knows when you’ll have to pull out the scrotal parachute and break free from the grasp of a eurotrash villain???

Anyways, now that I’ve got your attention, let me direct it towards my various-genred books!  First up is my YA fantasy series, the Unbound Realm.  Volume 1 is A Door into Evermoor.  Paperback here: A Door into Evermoor, paperback.  I’ve just published volume 2:  Weapons of Old  If you’re hankering for some psychedelic high school fun with a giant side of interdimensional monsters and teen genius hijinks, check out Kor’Thank:  Barbarian Valley Girl!  If you want a big ol’ helping of robot vs. wizard pew pew, along with an extra serving of existential philosophy, check out my science fiction series Echo!  And don’t forget to leave a positive review for them!  Positive reviews—even though they only take a minute or two of your time—are like $1000 tips for us indie authors.  Every one of them is SUPER appreciated!  #Kindle #KindleUnlimited #writingcommunity #writer #booktok #writerscommunity #writing

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Published on October 24, 2024 10:00
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