Weird Wednesday: The History of Halloween

The spooky season is here. I know that because:

Spirit Halloween stores are popping up.Bins and bins of pumpkins are prominently displayed outside the supermarkets ready to be stabbed, then thrown away.Small, overpriced candy is everywhere.Underinflated inflatable decorations appear on lawns.Specialty networks are airing 24 hours of horror movies and shows. Costco has put out the Christmas displays.

Say what you want about knowing how Halloween started, but you’d be wrong. Some say the Celtic festival, Samhai, held on the autumnal equinox was the precursor to All Hallows Eve, but since no one knows what a hallows is, that has been debunked.

When Halloween first started is vague, but on October 30, 46 CE (CE means calendar era) at 3:21 PM (post morning), the pope was addressing his conclave (not a plug for the movie of the same title, starring Ralph Fiennes and Stanley Tucci. being released on October 25).

“I’ve been watching those pagans dancing around their bonfires. We should try to convert them.”
“By bribing them with candy?”
“Oh, I was thinking about creating a day where we honor all the saints.”
[mumbling amongst the cardinals] “Every one? That’s going to be a lot of work.”
“You are right. Candy would be easier, but not that shitty candy corn.”

Where does dressing up come in, you ask?

When people ran out of spice to make their pumpkin spice latte, they would often have to go door to door in their neighborhood to get the proper ingredients. But to embarrassed to admit they like pumpkin spice lattes, they would dress up in various costumes to disguise their identity.

And the scary?

The pagans used the day to celebrate their dead, but one year, someone said the name of their crazy aunt three times in a row, and we all know what that does.

What about the ceremonial carving of the pumpkin? Well, that was invented in 1948 by the National Canadian Pumpkin Growers Association, because after the Canadian thanksgiving holiday held on the second Monday of October, they had to get rid of the rest of their stock, and since there was so much rage built up during the family gatherings, stabbing a pumpkin seemed to be a good outlet.

Fun fact#1:

Being at the beginning of the season that is supposed to be fall but often feels like winter, then gets nice and warm for a few days, lulling people into a false sense that winter won’t be too bad that year, before finally dumping snow in the yard before they had a chance to properly put away the patio furniture, was the origin of the phrase, “Treat then trick, suckers.”

Fun fact#2:

The celebration was exclusively for adults until the American Dental Association thought it would be a boom to business if they marketed the holiday to children with good teeth, promoting it as “Good family fun. With Candy!” Four out of five dentists approved of this scheme, with the hold out being the one living at the house that would give out toothbrushes.

-Leon

Leon Stevens is a multi-genre author, composer, guitarist, songwriter, and an artist, with a Bachelor of Music and Education. He published his first book of poetry, Lines by Leon: Poems, Prose, and Pictures in January 2020, followed by a book of original classical guitar compositions, Journeys, and a short story collection of science fiction/post-apocalyptic tales called The Knot at the End of the Rope and Other Short Stories. His newest publications are the novella trilogy, The View from Here, which is a continuation of one of his short stories, a new collection of poetry titled, A Wonder of Words, and his latest sci-fi mystery, Euphrates Vanished.

My new book page: http://books.linesbyleon.com/

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