Switching Your Internal Playlist: How to Replace Negative Thoughts with Self-Loving Affirmations

I spend a lot of time in my head, writing, making fruit tarts, repairing my crumbling house, etc., and I’ve started to notice the number of times I catch myself spiraling into self-criticism. My thoughts circle in a relentless loop of “I never get enough done,” “No one cares about my books,” and “I’m going to f*ck this up, too.”

Is it just me? Or do you get stuck in negative loops, too?

I’m going to assume there are a few of you out there having the same problem, since there’s so much info available on the internet about it!

I think it’s also safe to assume, you’d rather be thinking about how awesome you are/what you’ve accomplished/the great things you will achieve.

I think it’s time to break the habit! Let’s hit eject on old messages that don’t serve us anymore, no matter how comforting their familiarity may seem.

Like a playlist (or mixed tape, depending on how many eras you’ve survived), those songs were great then—fitting for the moment—but is listening to them on repeat now keeping you in a cycle that no longer fits your life? If so, here are a few things you can do to update your internal playlist and swap out those negative tracks for something that makes you feel like the rockstar you are:

1. Recognize the Tunes You’re Playing

First things first: recognize when those old thoughts start playing. You’re midway through a project, and suddenly, that pesky voice chimes in with, “You’re going to f*ck this up.” Or maybe you’re about to try something new, and you hear, “You’ll look like an idiot.”

These negative tapes can slip in so subtly, it’s like they’ve been playing on repeat in the background forever. The key here is noticing. Call them out! Once you realize you’re letting them play on auto-repeat, you can hit skip.

2. Change the Playlist

Just like swapping out that sad playlist you used to listen to on repeat, it’s time to replace those negative thoughts with affirmations that lift you up. And yes, it might feel awkward at first, like listening to a brand-new song that hasn’t hit the charts yet. But trust me, the more you listen, the more you’ll feel the groove.

When you catch yourself thinking, “I’m never going to get this right,” mentally hit the skip button and replace it with, “I’m learning as I go, and that’s okay.”

Here are a few more positive thoughts to help you fire your evil internal DJ:

“I am capable and worthy of success.”“I am enough just as I am.”“I have the strength to handle anything that comes my way.”

At first, these may feel like a new song with unfamiliar lyrics—but give them a chance to become your new ear worms.

[Please forgive me for interrupting this list to ask the following question: Any WNY locals want to come hear Jessica Topper and I read from out Matzo Ballers Hanukkah Romance series? We’ll be at Lock City Books on THURSDAY with some other awesome authors, and we might read excerpts from our two NEW Hanukkah books! Graphic creation cred: Jessica Topper, my awesome pal. Come get bookish with local authors!]

3. Create a ‘Feel-Good’ Playlist (For Your Brain)

Ever had a playlist of songs that you know will instantly boost your mood? The ones you put on when you need to feel invincible? (Heads up: I just found a Women’s Fight Songs playlist on Spotify. YASSSSS!) You can do the same thing with affirmations. Build a mental playlist of positive thoughts that remind you of your worth and abilities.

Write them down. Seriously. Put those feel-good affirmations somewhere you can see them—sticky notes on your mirror, phone reminders, or even a voice recording of you saying them out loud (how’s that for a playlist with a personal touch?).

When those old tapes start creeping back in, swap them out for one of these affirmations. You’ve already curated this list of uplifting truths, so let them play on shuffle!

4. Practice Makes Playlist

You’re not going to instantly flip the switch from a mental loop of self-doubt to one of empowerment. It takes practice. Just like any great playlist, you’ll need to tweak it, add new affirmations, and figure out what works best to pump you up when you need it most.

Start small. Maybe you set aside a minute in the morning to recite three affirmations. Or you catch yourself when you’re about to let a negative thought spiral and stop it in its tracks. With time, you’ll build a habit of self-affirmation, and before you know it, those old tapes will seem like a distant memory.

5. Be Your Own DJ

You have the power to curate your internal playlist, just like you’d create the ultimate road trip soundtrack. The songs—or thoughts—you allow on that list are up to you. Why not make them ones that empower and uplift you? After all, you wouldn’t voluntarily listen to the same heart-wrenching breakup song on loop for a LIFETIME, would you?

Instead of letting old, negative tapes play in your mind, take control of the speaker. Create a set of thoughts that remind you of your strength, resilience, and self-worth. You deserve to feel good, not just sometimes, but every single day.

So, next time that internal voice tries to cue up something unkind, tell it “Been there. Done that. F*ck off.” Then switch the playlist to one that makes you feel like the badass you truly are.

And if all else fails, listen to an audiobook about a kick-ass character finding her way to a HEA, like Anna in ONE NIGHT STAND EVER AFTER, to give you some ideas about how to shift your script. Who knows, maybe all it takes is burlesque, skinny dipping in a lake, or a tall stack of blueberry pancakes? (Just kidding…too easy. But a good time nonetheless!)