When you show up with a purpose

Throughout the haphazard experiment known as my career, I’ve ended up in several positions where I show up to an event in a specific role.

I show up to weddings as the photographer or the officiant — the guy giving the speech.

I’ve shown up to other events as the speaker, or the TV show guest.

I show up to a spot, I’m supposed to be there, people I’ve never met know why I’m there, I have a purpose to serve there, and I know what it is. I’m not thinking about how I look or how I’m coming off, or if I’m making a good impression on people…I have a job to do! No time to be thinking about things that don’t make a difference. I have a specific and meaningful sort of confidence.

I compared these experiences versus events where I’m just showing up as an attendee — especially at events where I know very few other people. Like when I flew to other states for friends’ weddings but didn’t know anyone but the groom. I show up and don’t really have a purpose other than “Attend,” and I feel awkward, out of place, purposeless.

“Why am I here?” I find myself asking. “The groom won’t even remember I was here and I feel like shrinking down and away from people. Why even try to socialize for two hours with people I’ll never see again? Am I making a good impression? Am I being too cocky or too shy?”

I feel like I’m four feet tall.

When I compare this to the confident, assured, and purposeful Ethan who shows up to places with a purpose, the difference is night and day.

I wondered how this might expand into life as a whole. I don’t yet know what it’s like to show up to life with a purpose, as if I know what I’m here for. Maybe that would make me more confident; perhaps I could assert myself like a person with a job to do.

Perhaps, like the grasshopper, I’d hurl myself forward like I knew where I was going — or at least pretending I did.

I wouldn’t feel like I showed up on earth by accident, like I got the wrong invitation in the mail and showed up to a stranger’s party.

Purpose is powerful, and the lack of it is deadly.

It’s more important than happiness, joy, or even — dare I say — human connection. If you don’t know what your life is for, you’ll see no issue with leaving it.

Your purpose is the entire reason you’re at this party called life, and you got an invitation for a reason. Perhaps you just need to figure out what it is, but I’m positive it wasn’t sent by accident.

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Day 56 of 100 Days of Blog

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Published on September 16, 2024 15:51
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