We’ve got to Talk about this: Why You Really Matter & About Suicide & How We need You

(I can’t stop thinking about conversations I had this week about how one of the greatest lies of evil is that we aren’t needed somehow, or that things are kinda hopeless and that we don’t matter, and how this week was National Suicide Prevention Day — and maybe we’ve just got to say all this out loud, and return to it again and again…)

You can feel like there is no way to keep on living this way – nor any real hope of living any other way. 

“You are actually not disposable – you are absolutely irreplaceable.“

You can feel like the dark is more like a wildfire burning up all your tomorrows, all your hope, all your future, all the marrow in your bones, and you’re just honestly desperate for some relief.

You get to fully feel all of that — and you get to be fully loved just as you are, and you’re wanted in far more rooms than you can ever imagine. You may not feel it, but you don’t want to miss the good up ahead of you  that you can’t see just yet, the laughter so loud you’ll throw your head back and it will feel like a rush of life in your bones, a resuscitation, and you’ll feel lighter and you’ll see the glimmer of light for a minute and don’t doubt for a moment that that light is coming for you. 

If we live in this world, and you aren’t here to witness us, to be with us, how could we really fully exist without you?

Don’t doubt that there are moments coming around the next corner that you don’t want to miss, don’t ever doubt that you, your presence, would be achingly missed if you weren’t here for those moments — to witness the way sunsets paint water, and scarlet autumn brushes the edges of the maple leaves, and the first early morning snowfall dusts the world and this old world needs you here as a witness who doesn’t miss its moments of miraculous beauty.

Your life has so much worth and weight that we need you, we want you, as a witness to our lives. We need to look out from our lives and scan for where you are, and see your face here, right here, see your eyes, feel you are right here with us. 

Just as the sound of the falling tree, without a conscious mind and ear there to perceive it, doesn’t fully exist — so without you, we aren’t fully ourselves. 

You know how they say — If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one there to hear it, does it make a sound? 

And the reality is: Sound exists only in the experience of the human witness. 

This is true of all of life: 

Colors only fully exist when there are witnessing eyes to process it – or it’s only energy waves. Smell only fully exists if there are witnessing cells there to interpret it – and sound only fully exists if there is an ear and witnessing mind to sense the vibrations and define the frequency. 

If there are no vibrating membranes in the ear of a human witness, there is no real sound in the world. There is actually never any sound in just the sound waves themselves. Without a human witness to experience the falling of the tree, there is no sound, only rapidly moving particles vibrating in air. The world needs a witness to fully exist.  

And what we need you to know is: If we live in this world, and you aren’t here to witness us, to be with us, how could we really fully exist without you?

Just as the sound of the falling tree, without a conscious mind and ear there to perceive it, doesn’t fully exist — so without you, we aren’t fully ourselves. 

Your world needs your witness to fully exist.  We are only fully us – if you are here with us. 

Just as sound is actually the product of our ears, so we are all actually the formed and shaped product of each other – of you. If there is no you in our story, in our room, in our lives, there is no real us in the world. We need you here to witness our lives, because the very act of your witness and withness, changes and shapes and forms the very nature of who we are. 

Just like an object doesn’t exist without a subject — we would not fully exist as our truest, fullest selves without you. 

You are actually not disposable – you are absolutely irreplaceable.

Your world needs your witness to fully exist.  

We are only fully us – if you are here with us. 

Whenever you part the room, whenever you part this world — we will forever lose a part of us, will never fully be the same, never fully be us. 

So I know you’re beyond weary and done with how dark it is, how hard it all is, but I just really need you to really know: 

 You matter because you actually change all matter in the world. 

If you aren’t here to witness our wins and our ways and our wounds, if you aren’t here to witness our losses and our loves and our laughter, if you aren’t here to witness us crossing some finish line, witness us actually holding up some wild, impossible dream, witness our tears and our trials and our triumphs – a part of us will always be missing. 

What matters most is that you know how much you matter to us.  Whenever you part the room, whenever you part this world — we will forever lose a part of us, will never fully be the same, never fully be us. 

If you give up believing that you belong, we will spend so much of our lives longing for you to be here with us – because we need you to fully be us.

Every single one of us is facing our own flames — and every single one of us needs to be with one other person facing theirs. Being with someone in their flames, helps put out some of yours.

And because we need you so desperately – we will come sit with you where it feels desperately hard. Because we so fiercely need you – we won’t leave you alone, we’ll come be with you in your flames. 

Every single one of us is facing our own flames — and every single one of us needs to be with one other person facing theirs. Because it also  turns out: Being with someone in their flames, helps put out some of yours. It’s its own kind of miracle: You fight your fire by helping someone fight theirs. 

So you’ve just got to know: 

You won’t have to bear your flames alone, we won’t let you bear your flames alone, and we will bear each other’s burdens and we will bear each other’s flames – because we all need each other to bear witness to each other’s lives – to witness the real hope of fully living.

When you’re looking for a reset, a turn around, a different trajectory…. a real change.

When you’re ready to find a new way of being…

For every person who has faced a no-way sign on the way to their dreams, WayMaker is your sign, that there is hope, that there are miracles, and that everything you are trying to find a way to, is actually coming to meet you in ways far more fulfilling than you ever imagined.

Grab Your Copy of WayMaker and the WayMaker Group Book Club Study — and begin the journey toward change you’ve secretly been hoping for.