Numbers, Numbers, Numbers…
I’ve got another poem for you this week! Keeping with the theme of the past few weeks, this is another one that I wrote for uni, and I hope that it will be particularly poignant to anyone who’s ever been stuck on hold on the phone – which is, in all likelihood, most people. Anyway, here’s the poem!
Numbers, Numbers, Numbers…One moment, please, sir;
don’t worry, you won’t be on hold
for too long. Please be patient;
don’t yell and scream, but sit
and wait, quietly. We’ll play
music for you, sir. Yes, we will.
And you will hate it;
you will wish music had never
been invented; you will regret
ever calling this number, sir.
Has it been long, sir? Oh, I’m sorry
for the wait; it’s the same for everyone
nowadays, you know. What was it
that you wanted? Right. Okay. Mhm.
Yes, I understand, sir. Unfortunately,
you’ll have to wait again. Please hold.
Hang up. Hang up. Hang up. Hang up.
Don’t linger on the line; there’s other
poor souls wasting away in the queue–
you were number thirty, twenty-eight,
fifteen, seven, three… once. Now, one.
Okay, sir, I’ve got the document up now
on my screen. What was your question,
sir? Ah, I see. Well, you’ll have to schedule
a little of this and that, make appointments
here and there—you can handle that, right?
Oh no, you can’t do that now, no sir.
Run to the back. Don’t pass Go. Red button,
numbers, music of your own, green button.
A recorded voice informs you of the value
of patience and the likelihood that you are not
the most important person in the world.
Hello, number forty-two, nice to meet you.
If you enjoyed this, click here to check out some of my poetry collections – free ebooks available as well as print books on Amazon!
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