Is that I have to live alone.
I moved straight from my parents house to my first 13 year
marriage. I left my first husband for my second: another 13 year marriage. The first few years of each were happy: the
last many of each were definitely not.
Ending that second marriage was terrifying. For the first 24
hours, every minute was panic-filled with the phrase in my head: ‘I’ve never
done this before, I can’t manage alone.’
On the 2nd morning I awoke smiling: for a moment I thought it
was my birthday, or Christmas. Then I remembered:
now I live alone.That was 16 years ago and the joy has not diminished, but
increased.
I’ve not gone off men: far from it. I’m in a relationship where the extreme
happiness has lasted longer than the happy years of my 2 marriages put
together. The secret? He visits, but we
don’t live together. He wants to: I won’t.
Perhaps my job is so social that I need time alone. I have friends to stay, I give parties. But
I’ve never been happier than in the years I’ve lived alone. And I’m going to keep it that way.
www.twitter.com/caroleagent
