Three months since it all changed

Joining the Babes with Mobility Aids ... An unintentional weight loss photo co...

Three months since it all changed

Today (25 August) is three months since Jeanette Findlay and I flew home from a seven week trip to South Africa and France. We talk about the great times we had and the wonderful people we met daily, and how lucky we travelled before I knew that I had a cancerous tumour. The trip was life changing in many ways.

In South Africa, I met so many of my South African family; I saw where Mum grew up; I heard from her friends and family just how hard apartheid was, how they protected my parents’ illegal relationship, as well as what Mum’s life was like before I was born; I learned so much about South Africa’s history; and I met with some disabled people there. And we had fun doing all of the fun touristy things – safaris, food tour, Table Mountain and more.

In France, I was lucky to experience the Avène thermal springs hydrotherapy centre. It is situated very far away from big towns, and there was a lot of hydrotherapy and food each day, so Mum and I got to rest a lot after packing in so much each day in South Africa. We made some good friends at Avène, like we did in South Africa. The thermal water was so beneficial for my skin – the stay prepared me for difficult times ahead.

I had symptoms of ovarian cancer throughout our trip. I wasn’t really sick – it waa just inconvenient not being able to eat as much as I wanted to, and I went to the toilet a lot.( I had almost six months of constant diarrhoea – I had multiple tests for bowel issues prior to the trip but nothing suspicious came up.)

And then on the flights home, everything changed. My stomach was swollen and very sore. I showered at Singapore airport. I had bad tummy troubles, and my period, and so I had bad cramping. I couldn’t breathe without pain. I couldn’t bend over to put my socks and shoes on. It was hard to get comfortable on that last flight home, as I was in a lot of pain.

I thought I may have hurt myself lugging my very heavy suitcase. (The airline staff at Montpellier said my suitcase was “forbidden” – meaning it was too heavy.) Or it could have been the way I was sitting and sleeping in a seemingly very narrow plane seat. Also, it was 30 hours of flying and in airports, and I wore my mask for a good portion of that, which was making it even harder to breathe.

We landed in Melbourne at 5.30 am on 27 May, and a staff member with a wheelchair met me as I got off the plane. Getting through customs was quick due to being in a wheelchair. My Roquefort cheese didn’t have to be thrown out!

I got home at 7.00 am, Mum ensuring I was not lifting my heavy case, had a shower and a little sleep, and called the GP as soon as the clinic opened at 9.00 am. I made an appointment for 2.00 pm. I didn’t sleep or eat much in the day, I was still experiencing pain.

The GP saw me and thought I had sepsis in my stomach. So he wrote a letter of urgency for Emergency, and told me to call Adam to take me straight to hospital.

That letter from the GP did not influence the wait time – it was five hours before I got a bed in Emergency.

Because I had returned from South Africa and France, I was classified as an isolated patient due to risk of communicable diseases – and this marker will stay for a year, meaning I get a private room if I need to stay in hospital again.

Adam went home to pack a bag for me. A friend drove my car from the doctor’s clinic to her house.

The Emergency nurses told me more boood tests were needed, and that they will be testing for cancer. I had a CT Scan at midnight. I was not sleeping in Emergency due to the noise and lights.

At 4.00 am, a gynaecologist came to me, and asked me my family history of cancer. He said I have a large tumour in my stomach. He said all the bowel symptoms I’ve had could be ovarian cancer. Four in the morning is not a good time for any conversation, especially not one about potentially having cancer.

At 5.00 am, almost 24 hours after landing in Melbourne, I was moved form Royal Melbourne’s Emergency to the Royal Women’s. I finally got some sleep there.

I saw more doctors in the day, they informed me I may have ovarian cancer, but the tests they had done came back inconclusive. I stayed in hospital another night. The stomach pain and diarrhoea decreased significantly after I had a test that involved a needle in my stomach, which drained some fluids.

Thanks to that short hospital stay, jetlag surpassed me.

And then I had more appointments with gynaecological surgeons, who told me I need a hysterectomy- it’s the only other way they could test for ovarian cancer, following the previous tests. They said during surgery, the tumour would be removed.

It waa an urgent, yet not rushed response. The doctors and nurses have been so great from the very beginning.

A month after that I had surgery and was diagnosed with ovarian and endometrial cancers. They did a hysterectomy, and removed a 25 cm tumour, plus a smaller one. I don’t know where it fit.

And a month after that, I commenced chemotherapy, after I was transferred to the Peter Mac Cancer Centre. It is reassuring that the dermatologists, gynaecologists and oncologists are working together to treat me, as theres so little known about the impacts of cancer and chemotherapy. I’ve done a pot of self advocating. But it’s too much to comprehend all at once.

The trip overseas was life changing – I feel so much more educated and connected to my family. My skin is still doing pretty good thanks to the thermal water which I spray on at home (apart from the two weeks of hell post chemo). I can’t wait to write about my trip more when I have the energy.

Arriving home, my life changed too. Every single day has been about cancer. My work and earning capacity has reduced. I’ve lost weight and don’t recognise my body. I’ve had the worst skin pain in my life after chemotherapy. I’ve asked doctors if I am going to die several times. I am in early menopause but managing that comes second to treating the cancer. Ivr had many needles – proud of myself for getting through the needles with difficulty in finding a vein and bad needle phobia. I’ve navigated the Centrelink system for the first time. I’ve been in bed a lot. I’ve not been myself.

But in these three months, people have rallied – my parents, Adam, friends and colleagues – all showing such love and support. I’ve gotten better at asking for help. We’ve had lots vouchers to help with meals and laundry. I have received lots of presents and a few cakes, plus letters in the mail and phone calls from people I’ve not heard from in a long time. I feel very loved and grateful for having so many wonderful people in my life.

Mum often says she wonders if we would have gone on the trip if I’d known I have cancer? Probably not. I was so lucky to have experienced travelling before my life changed so much. Mum and I have spent so much time together recently – overseas and now in hospital and at home. Mum and Dad have always been pretty stoic, get on with it type people. It’s rare they show me signs of them being worried for me. But I see their worries and fears for me now. I said to Mum that I don’t want her and Dad’s life to be impacted so much by my cancer. She said her life is about being a mother to me.

Mum and talk every day, always making sure to remind ourselves of what a brilliant time we had before it all changed. And we talk about how when I’m recovered, we will go on another trip.