Short Story - The Caged Bird Sings - Grant Eagar
To order my books:
Angelica: The Princess and the Pig Henry and Sophie: A Steampunk Adventure Sheila the Vampire: Dancing with the EnemyAngelicatiptoed down the corridor of the English Castle. The maid stopped in front ofthe Queen’s quarters. A guard stood in front of the closed door. The guard, an overweight,middle-aged man stood at attention. Angelica curtsied and gave him a winningsmile. “Good morning, Lyle, I hope you are well. I noticed that you’re smartlydressed today; I love your colors and noticed you shined your armor brightly.”
He warilyeyed the girl. “You little scamp, that will be enough groveling; now what doyou want?”
“Youwound me; if you must be aware, I have business with the queen, now may Ipass.”
“You’renot going to fool me again. You will not be going inside, the queen specificallytold me to keep you out.”
“Youknow they are deciding my fate. Would you be merciful and crack the door a fewinches so I can hear.” The guard frowned and shook his head. She gave him hermost pathetic look. “If your life was hanging in the balance, wouldn’t you wantto know what was being said? He gave a deep sigh, shrugged, and took a step tothe side. Angelica handed him the chamber pot she had been carrying and ignoredhis scowl. She turned the handle and gently pushed on the door until it openeda few inches.
Therestood the Queen, her daughter Hannah, and two ladies in waiting. The queenregarded the three girls dyed various shades of blue, head to toe. “Hannah, sheis your maid; why do you want me to get involved? I have better things to dowith my time.”
Hannahlooked at her blue hands. “My ladies insisted that I bring this to you. What Isuggested for punishment was not severe enough for them.”
Thequeen sighed and turned to the two ladies-in-waiting. “Considering whatAngelica has done to you; what do you suggest I do with her?”
Louisa,the princess’s first lady gave the monarch a broad smile with her blue lips. “Ithink beheading Angelica would be a good start. I would be willing to carry theax and offer a few chops.”
Angelicawhispered to the guard, “When suggesting punishments for me she always recommendswhipping, beheading is a nice change of pace.”
Claudia,the second lady, said, “I have an even better solution. Boiling in oil, havethe oil slowly heated so she suffers for days if not weeks.”
Thequeen turned to the princess. “And what is the punishment you had suggested?”
The princess grinned. “I have an even worse torture for my maid. Force her to learnto dance. She hates dancing and the dance master is a fiend.”
Themaid whispered to the guard. “It appears the princess is exceptionally hatefulthis morning: forcing me to dance. Normally she takes my side, she must be angryat me for dying her blue. How was I to know she would jump into the tub after herladies-in-waiting had left it? I must plot my revenge better next time. Onceagain, the cold jaws of justice bite my butt before I have an opportunity to enjoya measure of satisfaction.”
Thequeen, a middle-aged monarch with fiery red hair, narrowed her eyes. “You twoare in a vengeful mood today. I’m sorely tempted to do as you suggest, but I’llshow some mercy and limit Angelica’s punishment to three days in the birdcage.Hannah, we no longer have a dance master so your suggestion is not an option.”
Therewere gasps from the ladies-in-waiting and a snort from Angelica. “Who’s there?”asked the queen.
Theguard poked his head inside. “Sorry, Your Majesty, I ah-ah
“Slipped.”Whispered Angelica.
“Iah-ah slipped,” said Lyle.
“Youbetter not be nodding off. You never know what kind of scoundrel will want toenter my chamber.” The queen waved him away.
Louisafrowned. “Is that all? Look at us. We are a joke. We have suffered terribly ather hands I insist you do something more severe.”
“Firstyou will not accept the princess’s judgment and now you choose to question theword of your queen? Do you want to join her in the cage? I would have been moresevere with her, but seeing your bright blue faces made me laugh. If mydaughter wasn’t blue, I would have chalked this up to your just desserts.” Sheturned and took her daughter’s arm, “Hannah, you’re the one who insistedAngelica become your maid. You knew what she was before you asked for her. Whydo you continue to bring me these petty squabbles.”
“Pettysquabbles? Mother, I am blue; what do you suggest I say? I have regretted takingher on as my maid a dozen times. Will this decision follow me around like a badgoose; constantly pecking my behind?”
Thequeen raised an eyebrow. “Hannah, do you want to let her go? I would be happyto oblige.”
Claudia,a plain, black-haired girl of twenty, clasped her hands together. “Yourmajesty, we can get rid of the little viper? That would be delightful.” Shethen turned to Princess Hannah, “Please say yes.”
Theprincess, a seventeen-year-old girl whose hair normally was the color of honey tooka lock of her hair with her blue hand and regarded the different shades ofblue. “Mayhap now would not be a good time to discuss that. I’m in no state ofmind to be making decisions regarding Angelica.”
Louisa,a buck-toothed, mouse-haired girl of nineteen, brightened. “I think lettingthat little pest go is an excellent notion. Let Angelica return to her precioushills and the backward mountain folk. The castle is no place for the likes ofher. Goodness yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes, run her off.”
Angelicawhispered to Lyle, “Normally I discount Louisa’s words, but she is speaking likea wise sage today. A thousand times yes, let me go, I did not volunteer forthis life, it was thrust upon me. I hoped my shenanigans would get me sacked,but so far, no such good fortune. Perhaps the blue dye will do the trick.”
Lylethrust the chamber pot into Angelica’s hands. “If it had been up to me, youwould have been boiled in blue dye, now off with you.”
#
The firstday in the cage-
Angelicaadjusted her position on the floor of the birdcage. The four-foot-high, gildedcage was suspended three feet off the ground. It was used to shame those whohad incurred the displeasure of the queen and king. The cages lined a wall inthe courtyard and as people entered the courtyard they would stop and tormentthe captives. This was the third time Angelica had been put in the cage in thepast four months. The sixteen-year-old girl ran her hand through her coal-blackhair and gazed out of the bars with her lavender eyes. Four other cagescontained the unfortunate souls who had offended the royal family; Theyconsisted of the jester who had told an offensive joke about the king’sunusually large backside. The cook had bragged about an extraordinary potatosoup recipe that had made the queen’s stomach sick. A guard who had fallenasleep while on duty, would not have been caught if it had not been for hisloud snoring. The former dance master who didn’t know how to dance. Hisdefense, which was that a dance master doesn’t have to know how to dance, justknow how to teach others how to dance; was not convincing. Since he could do neither.
Severalvendors sold rotten fruit and vegetables to passersby who threw them at thecages. Louisa and Claudia, the princess’s ladies-in-waiting, stood a halfdozen yards away behind a railing. They had purchased armfuls of rotten apples,tomatoes, squash, turnips, and rutabagas. They were heaving these at the princess’smaid.
Louisa smirkedand heaved an apple. “You little troll, it’s good to see you getting your justdesserts. Putting blue dye in our soap was unforgivable.”
Angelicareached through the bars, caught the apple, found a spot that was not rotten,and took a bite. She then threw it back at Louisa hitting her in the behind.She laughed. “Is that the best you cows can do? Who taught you how to throw?You should thank me; the dye has vastly improved your complexion. You no longerlook like hairless rats.”
Claudiathrew a rotten turnip at Angelica. “You little demon, this was worse than thetime you put lobsters in our bath, or the time you put worms in our beautycream or the time you put a pig in my bed.” She then heaved a large tomato thatexploded when it hit the cage drenching Angelica with juice. The crowdapplauded and Claudia turned to the vegetable man, “Do you have any moretomatoes, these are quite nice, especially the large soggy ones.”
Angelicalaughed. “Thanks for reminding me of happy times. Can’t you throw any harder?You couldn’t hit the broad side of Louisa’s behind.” She then turned her backto the throwers and waved her bottom back and forth. This encouraged much morethrowing. If only I had not promised to never use my magic in spite. Thiswould be a wonderful time for some mayhem. Why was I foolish enough to makesuch a promise to Granny? Notice to self, never make another promise.
PrincessHannah walked up, and everyone stopped throwing produce. “Don’t stop peltingthe little weasel on my account.” They resumed their attack on Angelica. Theprincess purchased some rotten butter nut squash from the vendor. She commencedthrowing them at Angelica. Unfortunately for Angelica, the princess’s aim andher throw were much better than her ladies'.
Aftershe had exhausted her store of rotten produce, the princess approached Angelica.She reached through the bars, pinched her maid, and picked a cabbage leaf outof Angelica’s hair. “You’re so much trouble. Will there ever be peace with youaround?”
“I’msorry Princess, I didn’t think you would use Louisa’s soap.”
“Didn’tthink? I’ve heard that refrain before. When do you ever think? Why should I besurprised that you would do such a thing?”
Angelicaoffered her most innocent look. “The thinking or putting dye in their soap?”The princess just frowned and shook her head. Angelica gave her a broad smileand the corners of the princess’s mouth turned up. “That is better, you knowthat was funny, it was all a misunderstanding. I just mixed up their soap withthe dye, they were in similar containers, it was an honest mistake.”
Theprincess rolled her eyes. “The lies just flow off your tongue. So, you havebeen practicing stretching the truth? Do I need to add lying to your list oftransgressions?”
Angelicarubbed some tomato paste off her cheek and regarded her toes. “Ok, ok no needto be hateful. I confess I had had enough of your ladies’ cheekiness, and I wastired of them lording over me. It’s astounding how sweet the two imps can bewhen you’re about and how vicious they are when it’s just me.”
“Afterall you’ve done to those poor girls; you wonder why they treat you ill? You’llget no sympathy from me.”
Angelicaclasped her hands together. “Mayhap you could let me out of the cage a coupleof days early. I’ve learned my lesson well and I’m deeply sorry for the painI’ve caused, though the blue hair does give you a certain exotic charm.”
“Don’teven talk to me about getting out early, if I had my way, you’d be in there fora month.” Hannah’s face took on a pensive look, “there’s talk about releasingyou from your commitment as a maid, that you’re more trouble than you’re worth.I was sorely tempted to sack you.”
Angelicaperked up and pretended she had not been eavesdropping. “Really? You want torelease me?” She had not wanted to be a maid, to begin with, and had onlyagreed to serve the princess after Hannah had asked for her. Unfortunately forAngelica, she had a soft spot for the princess.
Theprincess frowned. “Don’t act so darn happy. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
“Atleast you are considering it, that is something. Princess, I would not complainone bit if you let me go; it’s the least of what I deserve. If I were you, Iwould march right up to your mother and tell her Angelica is a bad one, she mustgo.”
“Butyou are not me.” The princess frowned, “At times you are a bad one. I’m sorelytempted, but you’ll not be getting out of your duty so easily. After all youhave done for me; I owe you a debt of gratitude. I will not repay it by lettingyou out of your duty.” She then turned and strode away.
Angelicawatched the princess, and her ladies walk away and grinned as soon as theyturned a corner. What a glorious day, justice is served. It was all worth itto see the ladies’ blue hair, though seeing the princess’s blue hair does causeme pangs of shame. This ongoing war with her ladies is beneath me; I’m betterthan that. I wish there was some way to patch things between us. We grew uptogether in the same parish after all. We were not friends, but acquaintances. Shetook a clump of rotten tomato out of her hair that Claudia had heaved, smelledit, and wrinkled up her nose. Mayhap a bit more revenge is in order. Ifthose two insist on lording over me there will be war. Ugh, what didgranny say, responding to cruelty with mischief does not make the world abetter place.
