Tues. Aug. 13, 2024: Making Some Tough Decisions

image courtesy of Waldryano via pixabay.com

Tuesday, August 13, 2024

Waxing Moon

Pluto, Saturn, Neptune, Chiron, Mercury Retrograde

Partly cloudy and pleasant

I hope you had a good weekend.

I have a piece up on the Goals, Dreams, and Resolutions site about “Are You Blocked, or Are You Exhausted?” You can read it here.

Friday, I saw a call for short plays and remembered that I had written one with the parameters years ago. I found it, rewrote it extensively, gave it a new title, and submitted it. Also found a call where I had another play that fit the parameters, and that went out the door.

There’s another submission call, open until mid-September, where a revised WOMEN ON THE BRIDGE would be perfect, if I could get another draft done in time. But it’s more important to do a good draft than to send out a mediocre draft.

Did a library run before the storm started, picking up the 14 books waiting for me. Picked up a couple of other things at a store that I will need a few weeks down the road, but they are on sale now, so I grabbed them.

Saw a listing for a script writing job around Italian historical characters and situations. Put together some excerpts from the three Italian historical plays I’ve written (along with a couple of other excerpts) and sent it off with a cover letter.

The deluge of rain began in the afternoon, with the remnants of Tropical Storm Debby. We had advisories for flooding and high winds, and then a tornado watch. If it bumped up to warning, I’d have to pack all four cats and the two of us in the bathroom (which has no windows). Since tornados are becoming more common in this neck of the woods, we need to figure out a plan.

Bea stayed under the bed during the tornado watch, only coming out for her dinner. Her survival instincts are strong. Charlotte and I were on the sofa, watching the clouds start to form funnels, then open out, then start to form funnels, and open out again. It was both fascinating and disturbing. Tessa and Willa didn’t pay any attention.

The rain stopped at some point overnight into Saturday, which wound up being a lovely day, as far as sunshine and temperatures.

A corner of the living room was bothering me; it needed a good clean. So I cleaned it, and then ended up cleaning and re-arranging a bunch of other stuff in the living room, too. I sort of fixed the vacuum. It works for a little bit, and then I have to fix it again. It’s a damn Bissell; it should last more than a year without problems – without having to spend money on extended warranties. Appliances need to be built to last multiple years. Period. If I’m not drop kicking it off a ten-story building, it needs to damn work.

But anyway, the living room is much cleaner now. I have to clean the lampshades, and then, in a few weeks, when I change the curtains into the spiderweb curtains, I will clean the windows. Gave the hallway a good scrub while I was at it, too. I guess I’ve started my fall cleaning early.

Saturday morning, I found an email from the place to which I’d pitched the previous day. They obviously hadn’t read the cover letter or the sample package, and demanded an unpaid sample to their specifications. On a weekend. And how many red flags do we have here?

In the afternoon, I had a big, quick turnaround coverage to do. I did it in the sewing room. Bea only came out to stare at me for a minute, then dived back under the bed. The look on her face was hilarious. But at least she came out, even for a short time. And she’s spending more of her day out in the room, playing with her toys, exploring, napping on the bed, and interacting with the other cats through the glass.

She’s fascinated by fabric, yarn, and anything with texture. She climbed up a piece of furniture and got into the alpaca yarn I bought a couple of years ago (I’ve finally designed the project; now I have to start it, as soon as it’s cool enough). She didn’t damage it at all; she just was fascinated by it.

It’s a sewing room, so there are many different textures in it.

She also likes to look out of the window. She figured out she can sit on the bed, look out of the window AND look through the glass doors into the living room.

She’s also associating some words with actions and rituals and items. Most of them are food related: breakfast, lunch, dinner, supper, treat, snack. She also has associations now with the sounds for “good morning” and “hello” and “I will be right back” and “nighty night” (the latter is something my mom says to all the cats after they get their bedtime snacks), and “litter box” and “clean” and “toy” and “banana” (she loves her catnip banana) and “mouse” and “pompom.” She responds to her name (which she should, since she chose it), and is starting to associate the sounds of the other cats’ names with those cats. We try to make sure we are consistent.

She’s comfortable in the morning and evening routines, and has started to wait by the door (although she dives under the bed again as soon as one of us enters).

We’re getting there. It’s a process. I have to hurry it a little (and then we’ll backslide) to get her to the vet for her last round of shots.

Read HOW TO KEEP HOUSE WHILE DROWNING by KC Davis. There are some good ideas in there, for breaking down tasks and finding systems that work within your life. But she hates laundry and dishes and taking out the trash, and I can’t function if those three things aren’t done. I mean, I worked in wardrobe – I have adamant laundry systems. And I’m a big believer in the old wives’ tale of  “can’t sleep? Check your sink; maybe the dirty dishes are dancing.” I like a clean sink. And I take out the trash as the bin fills. All I have to do is walk it across the street. The tasks that overwhelm her are the ones I find necessary in order not to be overwhelmed by everything else. I also like making my bed, although Charlotte definitely slows me down on that.

I do tend to nest where I work/read, so there are often stacks of books and papers in those areas, and I need to create a better system for them. Project bins have helped a lot. Because I can keep projects handy. If I put something away and have a pristine desk at the end of the day, my brain decides the project is done and moves on. If it’s unfinished and I’m working on it, it needs to be out where I can see it.

But I’m playing with a few ideas to streamline all of that. We will see, over the fall and winter, if they work, and what needs to be adjusted.

While I like the idea that the house is there to support us, we are not there to serve the house, I disagree with the whole “house is inanimate and therefore not a priority.” As someone who works with spirits of place and home and hearth, that is in direct conflict with the way I live my life.

I also agreed with her section on division of labor in the home, and how making sure each person living there participates in the workload is a way to show care and respect for each other. I agree that one person coming home after a workday feeling entitled to rest while the other person continues their workday (whether they work outside the home or remotely or do the labor necessary as a homemaker) without getting any rest indicates much bigger issues in the relationship.

I flipped through MAKE YOUR ART NO MATTER WHAT by Beth Pickens, one of the books one of my mentors swears by, but didn’t find it useful because I already do that. That is how I’ve lived my life for decades.

Went through another favorite book to pull out some quotes and notes I needed for a project.

Added a few things to some leftovers to switch them up a bit for dinner, and they were good.

It was a good sleeping night. Everyone was thrilled with breakfast.

I took out the trash early and headed to the store to pick up ink for the printer (because when I am not running out of ink?), and then to Big Y for groceries. It was lovely and sunny again, but a little more humid.

In the early afternoon, I went to the yoga studio for a special Metta loving-kindness practice to benefit the No Paws Left Behind shelter that just relocated to North Adams. It was a good practice, and I’m glad I went.

Home, and went through quilting and crocheting books. I’m finally going to start the crochet project with the baby alpaca yarn I’ve had for about two years. It’s going to be a simple project, but if I can pull it off, it will be both pretty and functional.

I think the elemental quilt project will be a series. I’m going to do one big piece that has all the elements, and then separate, smaller quilts for each. The book quilt must be done first, though.

It started raining in the evening. It’s so nice that the weather is a little cooler.

I started reading the next book for review. Some things I like about it; others I do not.

Slept well. Had two dreams (that I remember). One was that a curtain fell off a window, revealing what was on the other side. That’s a pretty clear one to interpret, and speaks to a couple of things with which I’m currently wrestling. The other dream was that it was snowing. I woke up long enough from that one to burrow under the covers.

Tessa and Charlotte were both on the bed. They were fine most of the night, until they started fussing at each other just before 5 AM on Monday. I kicked them both out of the room and refused to get up until a little after 5:30. Bea waited by the door for her breakfast; she knew it was late.

I was late for morning meditation, too, and she was at the door, practically tapping her little paw with impatience, although she dived under the bed as soon as I came into the room.

Monday morning was about getting on track with a few things, and following through on some difficult but necessary decisions. I had to follow up on something that’s hanging open, which the other person keeps telling me “I’ll get back to you within the week.” This has been going on for months now. It would take five minutes to resolve what needs to be resolved, so we can all do what needs to be done next.

I responded to the response I got on Saturday from Friday’s pitch, the one demanding project-specific unpaid samples with a contract for such samples. They responded that my sample pages “weren’t what they were looking for” but they “thought I had potential” and the offer to create an unpaid sample was to prove I could fulfill that potential. Um, no.

Let me state this again, unequivocally: ethical companies do not demand unpaid labor as part of an interview process OR as a condition of getting an interview.

I sent an email withdrawing from a project this autumn that I looked forward to with the Berkshire Voices, but it was starting to conflict with too many other things also happening. We left the door open for me to join them in the future, possible next spring or next autumn. It is absolutely the right decision, difficult as it was, but it left me feeling depressed.

I had some other fussy admin stuff to deal with.

I also let go of a submission call that interested me (for an anthology supporting a library system in upstate NY), but I just don’t know the area well enough yet to write about it. Something generic isn’t appropriate for this particular anthology.

Not the creative morning for which I hoped.

I did, however, get the GDR article on exhaustion up (the link is at the top of this post). I considered pitching to another script writing job, but there were so many red flags and so much contradictory information in the listing that I decided not to do so. A couple of submission calls hit my inbox, and I have to decide if I have something to send in, or if I have an article idea strong enough to pitch. One issue theme is along something I’m already working on, so I put together a pitch and sent it off. I think they want more academically oriented people than I am, but it was interesting, so I gave it a shot.

Set aside some time to crochet in the sewing room to hang out with Bea. She didn’t come too close, but she’s very interested in the yarn. I had to undo the first set of chain stitches and single crochet, because the hook was the wrong size, and it wasn’t  working. That yarn is so fine (for lacework) that it’s challenging to work with, especially for the foundational rows. Willa wanted to come into the room and be with us so badly, but that’s not yet an option. She pounded on the door and yowled. Bea was not impressed.

Decided to push off the small script coverage until today. Instead, I finished reading the book for review, which got better as it unfurled, but I had gotten way, way ahead of it. I will write the review today and send it off, and do the next book this week. I read the book hanging out in the sewing room with Bea. She came out to eat a snack, and then went into her crate, to watch me for a safe distance until she fell asleep. Progress.

Once she has her next and final round of shots for the year, she can take as long as she likes acclimating herself to humans; I just need to be able to stuff her in a box and get her out the door soon. There’s a silk and wool shawl in the sewing room that she keeps pulling off the chair and putting into her crate. She loves texture.

Charlotte has gone from thinking the cheese on a Domino’s pizza is divine to demanding freshly grated Parmesan. Bea likes high quality textiles.

I read Cal Newport’s SLOW PRODUCTIVITY, also recommended by one of my mentors. I agree with some of the principles, especially pushing back against pseudo-productivity. But he comes from a lot of this from a white bro privilege place. He’s anti-remote work, which means we do not agree on many things. He’d rather have a 5-minute interaction in the office than a series of emails. Except we all know there’s no such thing as only a 5-minute interaction when it’s convenient and doesn’t disrupt the workflow, and offices are about multiple interruptions and unnecessary meetings that create obstacles for getting any work done. Also, to stop endless email chains, ASK THE RIGHT QUESTIONS THE FIRST TIME. In general, he’s very much for pushing work and responsibility off onto other people, instead of solving the issues of clear communication and streamlining collaboration so no one is snowed under.

Having worked for far too many toxic bosses who do just that – dump things they should be doing and calling it “delegating” instead of helping to create systems and policies to make the workday, workload, and work experience actually WORK, it was a few too many red flags for me.

And working on only one project at a time is, again, very much a privilege backed by money. I know very few artists and other freelancers who have that privilege. All his “work fewer hours and make less money to have a better life” only works if your income is above minimum wage in the first place. There are no steps for reaching that; it’s an assumption that you start from financial security.

Of course all of this left me feeling massively unproductive for the day, especially since I didn’t get much writing done, other than the article for the GDR site. I did, however, come across a couple more organizations to whom to send workshop pitches. One of them dropped off the list pretty quickly when deeper research showed they don’t pay, and their instructors do it for “love.”

Great, honey, so glad they have that privilege. I have bills to pay.

Slept pretty well. Didn’t have to haul things to the laundromat, because there’s not much laundry this week (I’d gotten ahead last week). Did my morning meditation with Bea, and she’s spending post-breakfast watching birds through the window before her morning nap.

On today’s agenda: proofreading, some writing, work on some proposals, some admin stuff around my mom’s hospital bills, a script coverage (hopefully more will come in), writing and sending off the book review, starting the next book, picking up the CSA box, two hours of yoga.

I have two more short Kate Warne plays to write (without deadlines, so there’s no rush). Kate was the first female Pinkerton, and she is the protagonist of “Confidence Confidant” and “A Rare Medium” and “A Women for the Job.” I’m folding slightly different versions of those plays into a full-length along with the two new plays I want to write about her. The play about taking down Confederate spy Rose O’Neal Greenlow will be its own full-length, I think. But one of the two short plays is starting to percolate. It should be ready to draft soon.

One of the things that’s thrown me off the last few days is not writing enough, so I have to adjust that. I need to organize the projects on my desk, too, and get going promoting the Topic Workbooks again.

Have a good one!