MishMash Brain

Frozen in time, nowhere to go
Voices in my brain, telling what they know.

Creepy little words rumble my brain
Trying to make matter, a reason or explain.

Definitions scramble up, a mix match of words
Scatters the brain like fly away birds.

A struggle, a defeat
An everyday pain
The secret surroundings
Of a Mishmash Brain.

Give me a pill to drown out the voices
Or give me a list of some other choices.

Closing in, it’s about to explode
Disappointments quietly unfold.

Repeating the cycle of an unopened door
Accepting the challenge, wanting no more.

A victory, a smile
A courage of propane
Exploding through the words
Of a Mishmash Brain.

Winning the war of words unsaid
Waking the silence of the undead.

Mishmash Brain settle on down
I’ve got the control this time around.

Freedom I have, a whole world to explore
Voices in my brain, settling the score.

Written by Catherine Mellen ♡

In 2018 a Judge questioned me about the repressed memories I had experienced in 2015/2016.  I answered him that it was like my brain went all mishmash.  He responded, “That mishmash provided the answers you needed to be here today and I want you to know how proud I am of your determination to find the closure you so deserve.”

I then went home and wrote this poem about surviving repressed memories. 

This poem can be found in my Survivor’s Mind Poetry Book. 

https://www.amazon.com/Survivors-Mind-Childhood-Trauma-Collide/dp/B08ZBMR2MR