The Cynical, Critical Writers Group – Fragile egos and delusional dreamers need not apply.

After I was banned from my fifth Facebook writing group for being “critical, negative, rude, abusive, cynical, sarcastic (I liked that one) and unsupportive, I took a moment to reflect. Was that person really me?

I thought I was analytical, honest, forthright, constructive, witty and realistic. Is it because I don’t agree with what members post that they are so hostile toward me and go whining to the administrators? Am I being unsupportive by asking if they got paid when a member raves about having their flash fiction piece accepted in some obscure online magazine? Is it critical to point out that the meter is off in a rhyming quatrain about unrequited love? Is it cynical to suggest that paying to have your novel published by a “hybrid” publisher is not a great achievement? I mean, are the majority of aspiring, emerging, new or otherwise unsuccessful authors all delusional?

I asked myself; would I get more out of participating with these groups if I changed my attitude, overlooked the obvious and lavished them with praise for insignificant accomplishments? After all, they’re not insignificant to them. If I pursued the adage “if you can’t say something positive, don’t say anything at all” might I still be able to keep my tattered integrity intact?

My first challenge was a post that stated “My story didn’t win the competition, but what I do like about this contest is all the longlisters will be published in the paper anthology, along with the publishing of all of them on the website”. I can understand writers crowing about being “shortlisted”, though in my mind that amounts to being one of the first losers, but being “longlisted”? I want to ask what does that mean? How many are on the long list, everyone who entered? Is it worth the entry fee you paid? Instead, I take my lead from other members who gush, “Good job! Powerful story.” “This is awesome. Being longlisted is a big accomplishment!” and reply, “Way to go!” and add love, like and care emojis.

The next was a 74-line free verse poem about growing old (the word was used 17 times in the piece) that read like a short essay with sentences broken intermittently so you’d know it was meant to be a poem. It included hackneyed references to Depends, eyeglasses, medications and memory loss but there were some promising lines including “the newest medications made from strings of syllables clotting in your mouth” and “the amputations of the harvest, the isolation of the wintering.” If the author deleted the clichés, worked on reducing word repetition and made an effort at originality as he did with those four lines something positive could be achieved. Poems take time to ripen and mature. Ask Leonard who took five years to write “Hallelujah”. Maybe the author would like some constructive suggestions? Nope. His poem had collected 31 comments including “fine poem”, “great writing”, and “really liked it” with the majority agreeing with his sentiments about aging. Only one person commented on the actual writing highlighting one of the lines I’d picked out. I decide to comment on the two lines, no emojis, no superlatives. My magnanimity had run out – already.

Why am I doing this?

I’ve learned more about writing fiction from other writers than from any other source – books, courses, seminars, etc. But there’s a caveat, they must be serious about the craft. It’s apparent to me that at least ninety percent of the membership of any Facebook writing group are dabblers, hobby writers, even those who don’t write but imagine they will someday. The conundrum is many of the authors I rely on, who have improved my writing with their insight and suggestions have come from these same groups.

I’m not sure what the solution is but it isn’t being counterproductive by spewing blather to make someone feel good about a weak piece of writing they’ve posted. Until I figure it out, I guess I’ll just keep getting ejected from these groups, though hopefully connecting occasionally with some like-minded writers to continue a relationship outside social media. Not to worry, there is no end to new writing groups. Maybe I’ll even start one myself, the Cynical Critical Writers Group, a group for writers who can endure negative, rude, abusive, sarcastic but honest and constructive comments to enhance their craft. Fragile egos and delusional dreamers need not apply.

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