Well, it’s not so bad

I woke up and needed to use the urinal. Remember, I don’t get to eat because of some clueless people… But, that’s another story. So my liquid needed to come out more and more urgently. Finally, I couldn’t hold it, and it rushed out.

Since my legs are above the height of my head, all the urine ran up my right side to chest level. I type this as my first message. Duh. How do you know you’re wet? I am asked. I have a clue! I had to have urine run up my side until someone responded to my call light.

My next message was to get the clean sheets. How do you know your sheet is wet? We finally figured out that my sheet and bedspread were wet. Hmm. They did not have the same clues as me. So, where do they need to wipe to clean Simon? Evidently, it’s not so simple. After several exchanges, I got them to wipe my side all the way up to my… You guessed it, my chest.

Then I had to tell them to also clean my right arm. Why? Because they had no clue. Amazingly, Simon has all the clues and has to repeatedly say how he knows.

Well, after everything was finally understood and they knew what I needed, guess what? We are out of chucks that go underneath my butt. Everyone answer with me. Why did we run out of linen? Because the laundry person had no clue.

I then had to wait ten minutes for the person to finish getting my head on straight. If you have any type of eye gaze technology to help you communicate, you understand how critical it is that your help knows which way is up. I’m grateful I was shit out of luck; I only had urine. Simplysaidbysimon, sometimes you just gotta laugh. ALS – Always Laughing Simon.