Hello!

Good day, everybody! I hope you all had a good week and are well.
Well, another week of peace and solitude has gone by without the added, “cheetah,” in my head.

Although this may not seem like much, a lot has happened to me in the past week. As I mentioned last week, I have been basically off of Facebook and focusing on what needs to be done in my life with which only God can help me. I gave a brief update on there last week about how I was feeling and how I wasn’t sure who I was or what the point of my life was anymore. I mentioned how I was alone and without any family. Well, one very nice and very wise lady stepped up to the plate and reminded me of something I had learned long ago in a church sermon, and that is this; we are never alone. We were not created to be self-sufficient. God created us to be in relationship with each other and to be in this life together. This, in turn, prompted another friend to step up to the plate and offer help as well. He said the same thing to me only in a different way. He said the more hands which get involved, the more things get done. He reminded me of the importance of community, which, being single and, well, “self sufficient,” I had forgotten. I always had to take care of things myself, and I would get so caught up in doing so, it was something which was very easy for me to forget. He also pointed out there is more shame in not asking for help than there is in asking for it. People need to be needed, which, I of all people ought to know because I am one of those people. He also pointed out how I have helped others out in the past, and now it is my turn.

Hmmmm….solitude is a good thing. I believe this came to me because I focused more on God. Once again, God brought people I needed into my life to remind me of things I needed to hear.

I spent all of last week making phone calls and waiting for call backs, and by the end of the week, I was stressed out and exhausted, exacerbating the CFS. I don’t think I went a day without either making several phone calls or going to appointments. The CFS has been just awful this week, however, thanks to the above words of wisdom from two very dear friends, I am beginning to relax and heal. I am now of the mindset of knowing it is ok to ask for help and accept it, and I must say, it feels pretty darn good. I am healing mentally as well.

You see, even just making simple phone calls is asking for help. Although you may not think of it that way, it is true. You’re looking for ways to make your life better by getting what you need, and that’s ok. It is something which must be done in order to survive. You don’t have to ask for anything specific. Just gathering information and getting contact information is enough. I know I never thought of it that way. For me, asking for help was asking somebody for something, like money. This is not true. Although it is exhausting, believe me, once you start helping yourself, you will relax and the CFS will get better. You will not only feel better about what will be the fruits of your labors, but you will feel better about yourself. I still have a long way to go with this but, with Gods’ help and my communitys’ help, I will get there. I just need to be patient and focus on God.

Well, those are my thoughts for this week. Have a wonderful week and remember, if you need help, don’t be afraid to reach out. There is more shame in not doing that than in doing that.
Love & hugs,
Beckie.

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