How am I?

How am I? Here’s how I feel right now.

Even though I’ve got a lifelong chronic illness, this feels different. My whole life seems consumed with recovering from surgery and this new diagnosis of cancer. It seems to be all I think and talk about, but I’m tiring to work and spend time with friends so cancer is not 24/7. I was able to have a bath for the first time since surgery, that was nice. I have been cooking. I can drive again. I’ve laughed with friends. I’ve made some good progress with work projects.

Except managing medical stuff is a full time job. I had eight hospital appointments last week. I’m worried about how this impacts on my family, friends and work. I’m worried about feeling terribly sick. I’m worried I won’t recover and I won’t be able to do everything I want to do.

My voice shakes at the end, because I’m really scared.

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive. Thank you to the incredible doctors and nurses in the public hospital system.

How am I? Here’s how I feel right now.

Even though I’ve got a lifelong chronic illness, this feels different. My whole life seems consumed with recovering from surgery and this new diagnosis of cancer. It seems to be all I think and talk about, but I’m tiring to work and spend time with friends so cancer is not 24/7. I was able to have a bath for the first time since surgery, that was nice. I have been cooking. I can drive again. I’ve laughed with friends. I’ve made some good progress with work projects.

Except managing medical stuff is a full time job. I had eight hospital appointments last week. I’m worried about how this impacts on my family, friends and work. I’m worried about feeling terribly sick. I’m worried I won’t recover and I won’t be able to do everything I want to do.

My voice shakes at the end, because I’m really scared.

Thanks to everyone for being so supportive. Thank you to the incredible doctors and nurses in the public hospital system.

Video: Carly, a woman with a red face and short dark curly hair, wearing a bright floral dress and purple and blue floral necklace, talking to the camera. Captions are above her head. Soft piano music plays in the background.

The post How am I? first appeared on Carly Findlay.