It Still Isn’t Easy

I believe Joe Biden’s presidency will be seen as one of the greatest in the history of our nation. His accomplishments are many, and his willingness to place nation over self is extraordinary – almost unheard of in today’s world. I am cautiously hopeful about Kamala Harris. Why cautious? Let me explain.

I was speaking on the phone with a technical expert the other day and he mistook my voice for that of a man. On the phone, It happens sometimes. In this case, I decided to take advantage of it. I knew if my voice was clearly that of a woman, I would likely be dismissed if I spoke as someone with knowledge about computers. I knew as a man I would be less likely to be challenged, so I went with Paul’s voice. To no surprise, the expert listened intently and quickly offered a solution that respected my knowledge. It has been a long time since that happened.

Much to my chagrin, women are still not taken seriously. As I have often said in my speeches, “Apparently I became stupid when I became a woman.” I cannot have multiple gifts, only one. I cannot have broad knowledge about a lot of subjects. If I am allowed to be an expert at all, it is about a single subject.

For a lot of folks, including many conservative women, Kamala Harris is too strong, too self-assured, too ambitious, and too aggressive. It’s 2024, yet I can still type those words, and not ironically. I deal with it all the time, and when I contrast my experience over the last ten years with my experience in the decades before, it astounds me.

People think we choose to transition genders because we think there is some cultural benefit. Uh, think again. Why would anyone give up so much power unless they felt called to do so? I will never again have the privilege and authority I had as a man.

Occasionally someone will speak positively about me as a “girl boss” type, strong and confident. They speak it as a compliment. And while that serves me positively in a few environments, it works against me in most. Too many men are threatened by a strong woman. More than a few women are threatened too.

Kamala Harris will probably choose Pennsylvania governor Josh Shapiro as her vice-presidential nominee, should his background check come back clear. Gretchen Whitmer would also be an excellent choice, but from where I sit, I cannot see that happening. Two strong women on one political ticket?

I live in Boulder County, Colorado, one of the most liberal counties in the nation. All three of our county commissioners are women. Since I’ve lived here, every Lyons, Colorado mayor has been a woman. I love living in Lyons and Boulder County. I currently serve as a member of the Lyons Board of Trustees and Mayor Pro Tem. The fact that I am a woman (and a transgender woman at that) has not been used against me, but I am not living under any illusions. If my name was still Paul, I do not doubt that I would be taken more seriously. I’ve lived in both genders. Almost nothing is easier as a woman.

I am encouraged by the enthusiasm I see for the Harris campaign. I have no doubt she is more qualified for office in every way than her opponent. Still, I worry. Unlike Germany, Finland, Norway, Iceland, Taiwan, and New Zealand, all of which had women as heads of state during the Covid crisis, all of whom did remarkably well, America is still pretty misogynistic. Equality might be in the Declaration of Independence, but in reality we remain a patriarchal nation. Hopefully, November 6 changes that.

And so it goes.