Gentle Responding to “Rejecters”
There are a lot of different ways to respond to those who reject us— perhaps because of our faith, or because of our message, or because of a group we are part of… or just because. Our ministry involves training chaplains. In the Philippines, often a chaplain is seen as a religious salesman. This is because many who serve ministerially in hospitals self-identify in that role. Some see them that way. We teach them not to do this… but some people react anyway. Chaplain trainees often struggle with this. Some handle it well… while others don’t handle it so well— awkwardly backing away, or going into debate mode.
One way is Disengagement.Nothing wrong with disengagement. Luke 10 describes the Disciples of Jesus going to different villages. If they are were rejected— they were not told to debate or fight. They were told to walk away. They would dust themselves off (taking nothing from the village… not even their dust), and then continue on their way. In ministry, disengagement is fine. I don’t it is ever the worst option. Still… disengagement doesn’t have to be silent or cowardly. The disciples as they left in Luke 10, did clarify that they have done the village no harm, and that regardless of their response the Kingdom of God was at hand.
Another is Acquiescing. One can surrender— at least partly. I remember in “Blue Like Jazz: Non-Religious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality” by Donald Miller. In the book, the author speaks of having a Christian ministry on the campus of Reed College. During a campus festival, the ministry group set up a “Confession Booth.” When someone came up to the booth, a member of the group would confess the sins of Christians over the centuries— hypocrisy, bigotedness, violence and so forth. Students there were actually shocked and impressed to have Christians confess rather than blame and accuse others. I had a friend who was in a formal gathering regarding Christian-Muslim relations. During the gathering, a Muslim leader brought up the Crusades. I might have argued that it was almost 1000 years ago… get over it. But the response was better than that, somewhat. Instead the Christian representative did note that the Crusades was not a unique act of violence that happened in a vaccuum. It was a response, in part, to Muslim violence and repression prior. The Muslim representative’s response, “Well, your prophet told you not to do that.” He was saying, that Jesus said not to act out with violence— even if provoked. Again, I might be tempted to say, “If you believe that Isa Masih told us that, then he told you that as well.” But that would be a mistake on my part, so I am glad that I wasn’t there. It would not be my job to tell Muslims that they are not acting “Christian enough.” It is my job to call Christians to live according to their calling. Confessing is better than excusing.
Another is Confrontation. I am choosing this term because it covers several options. This could include preaching against, debate, on other forms of defending (recalling also the statement that the best defense is a good offense). Paul, for example, seems to go directly at his “enemies” in the Epistle to the Galatians through words. Moses did not directly go against the Pharoah and his magicians in words (generally) but certainly did so in actions. Sometimes this may include things that are verbally or physically aggressive. Some forms of confrontation are clearly problematic, but others certainly may be appropriate. In our chaplain ministry, there is little value in debate. Fighting with patients is pretty much never the correct response. That being said, there is a place for challenging beliefs. Jesus often used stories as a way to challenge the beliefs of the people and religious leaders— not in a direct form of confrontation, but indirect… a flanking maneuver.
One can also use Dialogue. This is conversation, based on mutual respect with the end goals, of mutual understanding, mutual insight, and stronger relationships. This is easy in concept but hard in application, because of our tendency for fight or flight.
There is a place for a Combination. As noted earlier… the disciples of Jesus were not just told to run away. They declared their truth (the Kingdom of God), gave a small defense (we have done you NO harm… and then left without further conflict. Confession is not necessarily
When I see a good example of a nuanced approach, I kind of want to share it.
Austin McConnell is a Youtuber, and animator, that I like to view. He is a Christian, but only rarely makes reference to that in his online presence. He got a response from a fan of his who was unhappy (I don’t think enraged would be too strong of a term) to find out that Austin was a Christian. The email certainly could have been responded to vigorously. It could also have just been deleted. I suppose he could have done a “mea culpa” of sorts. Instead, I feel like he gave a very thought out and Christian response.
Anyway, maybe it is best for you to read it and decide for yourself. Click to read below.
