Assassination attempts and moral compasses

6 minutes

Friends,

It’s been a few days since we all learned about the attempted assassination of presidential candidate Trump, the murder of a fellow American and first responder, and the critical injuries of two others.

I let the dust settle for a few days before I decided to weigh in on the situation.

This is mostly because heated emotions tend to lead to passionate arguments and words that can never be retracted. And I wanted to make sure my words held meaning and not finger-pointing.

Someone said what?

It was at the last stop of Saturday’s Poker Run that an acquaintance walked up and told my husband and me the news.

‘Did you hear? Someone shot Trump?’

I was standing with a group of veterans who, for the most part, have all seen firsthand the devastating picture of a person who was shot and killed. We have smelt the metallic tang of blood. We know that bullets very rarely enter and exit cleanly. We have walked through the mess.

We have seen death and danced in its shadows.

And yet, from somewhere in the crowd, I heard words that chilled me more than finding out there was an assassination attempt.

‘Good.’

‘Too bad they missed.’

‘I hate the guy.’

Initial thoughts.

Hold on- this is about to get dark.

My family and I argue a lot about whether there is such a thing as a justifiable death.

It is something that weighs heavy on my heart after my multiple deployments. I am not going to argue that the death penalty is wrong. Hell, I agree with it in most cases. Crimes of horrendous behavior deserve to be punished. As the bible says- a life for a life.

You can’t change my mind on that.

But last time I checked- presidential candidate Trump hasn’t killed anyone. Neither did the other 3 victims.

No one deserved to be shot at. Or die.

Hard truth.

I hear a lot that my actions or awareness of actions, while deployed, are justified because we were fighting a war. That my actions or inactions are forgivable because they were done under the banner of the Red, White, and Blue.

I am forgiven strictly because I am an American.

I am given a lot of wiggle room because I was a soldier.

They were the bad guys. I am not.

Were they all bad guys? No, they weren’t. Some of them were innocent bystanders—mothers, fathers, and children. That’s the hard, cold truth. As painful as it is hard to hear, it’s a fact that is easily forgotten.

True- there were a bunch that were fighting because another country invaded their personal space and destroyed their homes.

There were bad guys. Horrible people who should not walk this earth.

But then there were those who were not.

And they died, too.

Here’s my struggle.

According to people I know, Trump’s assassination attempt was justifiable because he is a ‘bad person.’ He said things that people don’t like. He’s made questionable business decisions. He is not nice to women. He’s too loud. To orange.

No one likes his shoes.

Because of this- according to some Americans- that means he should have died on Saturday.

But I’m forgiven?

Help me make sense of this.

A dark day.

My heart hurts for the families affected by the tragedy. I feel for those other Americans who no longer feel safe in public spaces because random pew-pews can come flying out of nowhere.

But we are not going to have that conversation, are we?

Nope. Innocent bystanders always get the raw end of the deal. They are forgotten in the cries of political outrage.

What I will say is that this has made me question a lot. Should it? Maybe. Maybe not. But regardless it has brought back memories for me.

The wiz of flying bullets. The sound of ammunition hitting soft tissue and the popping sound it makes when it leaves the body. The smell of gunpowder. The searing heat of a barrel when it glows red. The groans of pain, followed by cries for family.

That is what people are celebrating right now.

Final thoughts.

Trump is unforgivable? He should die?

But I get to boast that I got a Bronze Star for my actions in war? And not just a Bronze Star. A fucking wall of awards. My uniform was a fruit salad of color because of all the ribbons.

I was part of the reason why people died. I stood right smack in the middle of two different countries and told their citizens they were the bad guys, and I was morally right.

I had a whole fucking country standing behind me. And as long as they didn’t have to hear the details- I would be celebrated.

But Trump should die?

I have struggled hard with my time in the military. As I get older and closer to floating across the River Styx, it has become that I think about a lot.

Trump should be punished for his ‘crimes against humanity,’ but I should get a ‘free pass.’

Criminals should be punished, but I have immunity.

Final, Final thoughts

This was a dark post. I get it. No one wants to hear this from veterans. But here’s the god-honest truth: Most of us struggle with these thoughts. They keep us up at night.

Are we forgivable while others are not?

Maybe my thoughts are spiraling. Technically, I wasn’t there, so I shouldn’t care. But events can trigger memories whether we want them to or not, and this event has stopped me in my tracks.

I pride myself on wanting to talk about the aftermath of combat veterans. I won’t go into details of my nightmare, but I think someone needs to say the words out loud (or, in my case, write them down) because they are real. Maybe if I open the door, others will feel safe talking about their experiences.

The math isn’t mathing on this one for me. I am questioning myself now because of how many Americans were celebrating or genuinely upset that the assassination attempt didn’t ‘pan out.’

To the families of those who were affected- you are in my prayers. I’m sorry that your loss and tragedy have become a political movement. I am sorry that people are not saying your names. I am truly heartbroken that you have become a pawn in an election. No one deserves that lack of respect.

To those who celebrated the attempt- find your humanity. Quickly. This isn’t about Trump. This is about your moral compass.

Ask yourself how far you are willing to go.

Because those people in Iraq and Afghanistan- those people who you call the ‘bad guys’ were willing to go as far as you are right now.

And we claimed that they were uncivilized.

Until tomorrow, my friends- Keep Reading and Stay Caffeinated.

From Scottish gods to the mystery of Medusa’s life and on to the European Witch Trials, the Raven Society is tasked with finding the truth in history’s inconsistencies. Hold your hats on this epic adventure to save lost souls from being forgotten.

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