It Has Been A Very Long Time!

Hello, everybody! I am so sorry it has been so long, but, as I said in my last post in April, a lot of bad things were happening, including the sudden passing of member of a dear friends’ family. I had a lot on my plate I could not handle at the time. Since January, it has been nothing but extremely high stress levels for me. I could hardly handle my own life, much less reach out to others to inspire them and help make their lives better. I had nothing to even give myself. Now, things are beginning to look up and things are getting back on track.

A lot of hardships came my way. I had a very sick cat on my hands along with big vet bills. It seemed like I was just getting out from under that when I started having car trouble. My car sounded like an airplane taking off and I couldn’t get going when I noticed it was running hot. I pulled over on a side street and called my cousin who owns an auto repair shop who told me to let it cool down for twenty minutes and slowly drive it back home. As it turned out, there was a small crack in the hose and there was a slow leak. The long and short of it, another big bill. Bless his heart, he worked on it night and day and did the best he could price wise and with a family discount. I was literally in the hole financially and, although it is not like me, I had to swallow my pride and ask for help. That was hard, as I had always been strong and independent and able to take care of myself. However, desperate times called for desperate measures. We all have to survive. It was nobodys’ fault, just bad timing and bad luck. A few days later, I got a phone call from a good friend saying her son had passed away suddenly. I was close to him at one time and had thought of him as a son myself. It was so hard to watch my friend suffer through this.

After that,there came more vet bills. This cat had been my salvation and had helped me to survive many hard times in my life, and I did everything I could to try and save him, but that wasn’t meant to be. On May 6th, his precious little life ended. Sick as he was, he managed to jump into my lap and snuggle on my chest. I cradled him in my arms for several hours. I wrapped him in his favorite towel and placed him comfortably in his little carrier, a favorite place of his for napping. Later that night, he passed away quietly.

The rest of my story has to do with a possible move because there were issues with my property, and I thought possibly selling would be best. Guess what? That didn’t work out either. Long story short, I was better off staying put.

I was angry all over again. I was very angry, until my neighbor, bless her heart, challenged me to listen to K LOVE, a Christian radio station, for thirty days. I gave her an adamant, “NO! I’m too angry!” She, however, would have none of that. So, that I did. I accepted her challenge. I cried and cried at first as the anger and darkness purged from my heart. The more I cried and released, the more my heart was filled with love and peace. However, I never could quite understand the adage God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. After everything I had been through, DAY after DAY for six months, that was one thing I still had major issues with and was still angry about. I would ask Him how He could love us so much and want us to have happy lives but still allow so much stress and so many bad things to happen. What kind of a God was He to allow such hardships in the world. So many of us are suffering and stressed out to the point it is affecting our physical and mental well being. Then, yesterday, I was listening and one of the morning hosts was talking about this and how it pertained to his own life right now. He said this is not true, because if we didn’t have more than we could handle sometimes, we would not need God. Then he mentioned what the Bible says in John 16:33 about how Jesus said we will have trouble in this world, but the good news is I have overcome the world. That is our peace.

Yes! I am now liberated from bondage! I always felt so constrained by the statement God doesn’t give us anymore than we can handle. I feel as though I have been freed from a prison sentence. It was life changing for me. It changed my entire outlook. It changed my whole day. Bad things do happen in this world, and it is ok to be angry and feel overwhelmed by what happens. I now feel free to feel, and I don’t need to question anymore. Jesus overcame the world, and He will help us overcome our problems as well.

As for the outcome of all this, I was led to stay put in my house rather than move. I had an experience I learned from, and this is what God told me to do; it is where He wants me. I have been freed from guilt of being angry over hardships, and, last but not least, and CERTAINLY the best thing of all, God brought another cat into my life. The long and short of it, she needed me as much as I needed her. We both needed rescuing, and, thanks to some wonderful Christian friends who understood what animals mean to me, I was able to adopt with their help. Why all of this took six months to happen, I don’t know. I will never know. Only God knows. All that matters is I arrived where I am today, stronger than ever, and once again able to share with and inspire others. If God was able to get me through all of this, He will certainly get me through the days of CFS/FM. He’ll do that for you, too.

Thank you all and have a wonderful week!
Love & Hugs,
Beckie.

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