K.I.S.S., Logic, and Liars

I was in the 3rd grade.  After school, Freddie Mullens sold me a “church mouse” in a matchbox for .50c, church mice being popular cartoon characters at the time.  I proudly showed mom when I got home.

“You sucker, you dumbass, you gullible kid,” she scolded as she submerged my new pet in water.

That stung!  So I wouldn’t forget that lesson, she kept laughing at me for months!

In the 4th grade I learned how to reduce fractions to the lowest common denominator, so 32/64 turned out to be a simple-a...