Am I getting better?
I have encountered a great paradox as I have continued to write. About fifteen years ago, I completed a book and sent it off to several publishing companies. It was, up to then, my magnum opus, my masterpiece, and I was confident the publishers I sent it to would be so impressed that they would end up fighting over the privilege to publish it. When I got nothing but rejection notices for it, I knew it could not have been because of any fault of the manuscript. I had a work of sheer genius I had sent to these imbeciles; what could they possibly be looking for that I did not have in my writing?
But I was also discouraged. If publishers were not going to like that piece, the very best I could do, and, I thought, the very best there was, what could I do to impress them?
The one answer that is unacceptable, that I am running away from with all my might is: "Mark, old boy, you just might not be good enough."
While that could be true, I won't consider it, except in whimsy. Even if I get no reinforcement from others, I will continue to believe I have something to say.
And, despite the huge ego injury, I've not stopped writing. Have I improved? I don't know for sure, but I hope so, and I actually believe so. My wife, my biggest critic, tells me I have, and that is high praise indeed.
I might be good enough now, to make it back into the august company of the legitimately published. I have a book I've just finished, an older children's fantasy, called Rocs of Ruck, that I'm going to send out in the next month or two. If any are interested, you can send me your email address and I will send it to you. I would really appreciate feedback or critique of any kind.
Am I getting better? I thought I was wonderful back then, when I was probably not. Paradoxically, now that I am (possibly) better, I am much less sure of myself.
(Deep breath) In order to live this life right, I gotta dive off the high dive again. See you at the side of the pool. If you happen to be reading a waterproof copy of my book, I'll answer any questions you might have....
But I was also discouraged. If publishers were not going to like that piece, the very best I could do, and, I thought, the very best there was, what could I do to impress them?
The one answer that is unacceptable, that I am running away from with all my might is: "Mark, old boy, you just might not be good enough."
While that could be true, I won't consider it, except in whimsy. Even if I get no reinforcement from others, I will continue to believe I have something to say.
And, despite the huge ego injury, I've not stopped writing. Have I improved? I don't know for sure, but I hope so, and I actually believe so. My wife, my biggest critic, tells me I have, and that is high praise indeed.
I might be good enough now, to make it back into the august company of the legitimately published. I have a book I've just finished, an older children's fantasy, called Rocs of Ruck, that I'm going to send out in the next month or two. If any are interested, you can send me your email address and I will send it to you. I would really appreciate feedback or critique of any kind.
Am I getting better? I thought I was wonderful back then, when I was probably not. Paradoxically, now that I am (possibly) better, I am much less sure of myself.
(Deep breath) In order to live this life right, I gotta dive off the high dive again. See you at the side of the pool. If you happen to be reading a waterproof copy of my book, I'll answer any questions you might have....
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