Update and ideas for #Characterisation
Hi, everyone! You may have noticed my new author picture around places. The original photo is over 10 years old. Can you believe it?!? How fast the time passes. Another thing you may have noticed is the headwear … well, there’s a story about that …
For a long time now I’ve struggled with slow hair loss. The last time it got patchy, I still had enough to put it up in a tight and small ponytail and covered the gaps by wearing various chemo hats and scarves. That was, thankfully, short lived … as in maybe a month or two. Then my hair grew back, and it was gorgeously curly! Yay. Only …
after further slow loss, I washed my hair a week before mum-in-law’s funeral and loads of clumps came out of my scalp all in one go. It was bad. I had an appointment the next morning, which meant a couple of hours travel too. So, seeing how straggly it looked, and that I had no way of covering the many bald bits, I had ten minutes to do something. I couldn’t even put it up like the previous time. Desperate, I got out my hairdressing scissors and hacked at it until enough came off that I could hide the mess under a hat. And off we went on our not so merry way.
Being so lucky as I am, ahem, the prosthetic appointment was a disaster. How the new socket passed any quality check from the workshop I’ll never know. If they do check them! And what point was the test socket if they didn’t use it as a template for the actual socket? Anyway, I digress …
After all that, we decided to come home rather than go somewhere to relax as planned, and I decided to shave my hair. I wanted to use the clippers with their long comb attachment, but hubby couldn’t find them. Yes, you just knew how my day was going, didn’t you?! And no, despite all, while it was a Friday, it wasn’t the 13th 
. So, with the clipper teeth on long rather than short, I began and ignored the wet salty stuff pouring down my cheeks.
The result was okay except it showed the patches with no follicles at all. In the end, I got out my safety razor and shaved it down to the wood, as they say. Much better. I grabbed one of the few lightweight scarves and did my best. Then I hit the big A, who came to my rescue with some marvellous stuff, which they delivered the next day 
After a week and a half, I’m happier. And the lack of stress of attempting to stop the hair loss and style the darn stuff, I’m kinda relieved. It will take hubby a while I think, but that’s his problem, not mine. I’m doing my best, and when life leaves you no choice …
Anyhow, I now want to share about this and some other stuff I’ve experienced which we writers can all use to enhance our fictional characters. Because, ya know, when life gives you lemons (thanks Staci for reminding me of that saying!) …
Full Menopause(For anyone who’s worried by this point, I won’t go into much detail. It’s easily searched online. Phew, I hear some saying! 
Suffice it to say, there are common symptoms most people know of such as hot flushes and mood swings, to say the least.
I also wanted to share a couple of rarer symptoms. For instance, cold flushes are a thing. I had cold spells off and on for long enough and had no clue they were another indication on top of everything else the docs kept ignoring. And, huge biggy here in relation to my chronic illness, menopause can also exacerbate muscle and joint pain and stiffness. Yep, go figure.
All of which to remind me, as well as anyone else who isn’t a specialist, that research is key.
Hair Loss
Many, many things can cause this in both men and women. Male pattern baldness is as common as air and resembles a monk’s tonsure. Women’s baldness is something nobody seems to want to talk about. And to go full on Sinéad O’Connor isn’t socially acceptable in most places. In this context, it’s much easier for the guys to shave their heads. However, some—like hubby—struggled to make the switch from comb over to shaving.
An interesting point here is most females hate comb overs, whereas the majority of guys believe the comb over is a better look. In hubby’s case, the shave took years off him in looks.
Some common causes are stress, alopecia (men and women), and hormones, along with certain treatments—the most well known being chemotherapy. I’m not sure with mine but suspect the roughly a decade and a half in menopause with no help or treatment, together with about two years on steroids, could be the biggest root of the problem (couldn’t resist that little pun!).
Most likely, I won’t attempt to obtain a diagnosis. One, I don’t want yet more drugs. Already, I rattle when I move, lols 
. Two, our health service is broken, and it would only lead to more stress trying to get to the bottom of it. The path of least resistance and simple acceptance seem best for me right now.
When sharing my fun with follicles with Staci Troilo, she kindly shared this about a friend and this video …
‘My best friend from college also lost her hair. She turned it into a business. She became a model for wig companies and reviewed them on YouTube. She stopped modeling for them and now just runs the channel herself. If you’re interested: https://www.youtube.com/@sparehairloveaffair.’
Wow, what an inspiring woman! In resharing, it’s my hope to give you all further resources if you ever want to write character(s) going through any of this stuff.
When reading novels, the hugest issue missed in writing about any of these things—chronic illness, hair loss, menopause, even ageing, etc.—the process of grief we go through gets ignored totally. And it’s so important to keep things relatable and real.
While my grieving for the hair loss was quick, like a day, for certain I went through every stage. The chronic illness, I still have ups and downs and am evidently still coming to terms. My point here is that grieving can be fast or slow and, sadly, sometimes never ending. We’re all individual. Now I’m where I’m at, I plan to experiment with both glam and elegance in my choice of headwear, attire, and jewellery!
To finish on a high note …The good news is, laughably, I’ve lost so much weight, my facial recognition on my phone refused to accept I was me, and I had to do a new one 
That’s enough from me. I hope you’ve found this post informative and helpful and not too distressing. If you feel you’d like to share and are able, I’d love for you to tell us some of your trials and tribulations in the spirit of adding to character building, either in the comments or with a link to any post you write/have written that’s relevant to this discussion. And if you simply want to say hello, I’d still love you to comment.
Thanks for stopping by, everyone. I miss you all so much and am still doing my utmost to visit whenever I can. Hugs, Harmony 
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