"Most of you won't like this"

On a bright, breezy morning recently, I put on Lou Reed’s Metal Machine Music, as you do. I’d tracked down a decently-priced vinyl copy of the infamous double album in good condition, and was eager to listen to the whole thing end-to-end, which I’d never done. Inspired by Lester Bangs revealing that he obsessively played the album in his car on an 8-track—picture Lester cruising down Eighth Avenue—I grooved to the first two sides while I worked out at the gym, the dark noise in my headphones com...