Breaking Free from People-Pleasing: A Guide to Prioritizing Yourself

Hey there!

Have you ever said “yes” to something you didn’t want to do to keep someone happy? If so, you might be struggling with people-pleasing. It’s a common issue that can leave you feeling drained, overwhelmed, and lost. But the good news is, you can break free from this habit and start living a life that feels true to you. Let’s dive into how you can stop people-pleasing and start prioritizing yourself.

Understanding People-Pleasing

First, let’s talk about what people-pleasing is. People-pleasers often go out of their way to accommodate others, even at the expense of their own needs and well-being. It comes from a desire to be liked and accepted, but it can lead to chronic stress and a sense of losing oneself.

Step 1: Recognize Your Worth

Your value isn’t determined by how much you do for others. Take a moment to reflect on your strengths and what makes you unique. Write them down if it helps. Understanding and appreciating your worth is the first step in breaking the people-pleasing cycle. You are valuable just as you are, without needing to constantly prove it by pleasing others.

Step 2: Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial. It’s about respecting yourself and your time. Start small—practice saying “no” to minor requests. For example, if a friend asks you to go out when you’re tired, it’s okay to decline. Setting boundaries can be uncomfortable initially, primarily if you’re used to always saying “yes.” But with time, it becomes empowering and liberating.

Step 3: Practice Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself. Self-compassion means treating yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. When you make a mistake or feel overwhelmed, take a deep breath and remind yourself that it’s okay. You’re human, and it’s okay to prioritize your own needs. This might involve taking time for activities you enjoy, like reading, bathing, or simply relaxing.

A Personal Story

Let me share a quick story. A client of mine, Sarah, used to say “yes” to everything. She took on extra work, always helped friends, and never refused family requests. Eventually, Sarah felt exhausted and resentful. We worked together to recognize her worth and set small boundaries. Slowly but surely, she started saying “no” when she needed to and practised being kind to herself. Today, Sarah feels more in control of her life and much happier.

Final Thoughts

Breaking the habit of people-pleasing takes time and patience. Start with small steps, be patient with yourself, and remember—you deserve to live a life that feels true to you. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being.

Thank you for reading, and if you found this helpful, feel free to share it with others who might benefit from it. Remember, you’ve got this!

Take care, Namita Das

For personalized support and guidance, click below or write to me at namita@educateable.in.

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Recommended Resources to Stop People-Pleasing:

To help you on your journey to stop people-pleasing and start prioritizing yourself, here are some resources you can find on Amazon India:

Books:

“Stop People Pleasing” by Patrick King: A practical guide to breaking the people-pleasing habit and becoming more assertive.“The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it” by Susan Newman: Learn how to confidently say no without guilt.“The Joy of Saying No” by Natalie Lue: A simple plan to reclaim your boundaries and say yes to the life you want.

Journals and Planners:

Look for guided journals that encourage self-reflection and goal-setting.Planners that help you track your progress in setting and maintaining boundaries.

Self-Care Kits:

Self-care kits with relaxation aids like bath bombs, candles, and mindfulness tools can be a great way to practice self-compassion.

Online Courses and Workshops:

Explore online courses and workshops focused on assertiveness, boundary-setting, and self-compassion. These can offer valuable insights and practical techniques to support you.

Remember, taking the first step towards prioritizing yourself is a powerful act of self-love. You’ve got this!

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