The New Rules: When Is It OK to have Sex?

I’m sure I won’t make many friends with this blog, but I feel that I have to say something. It’s kind of like eating lunch with a friend who has lettuce stuck in his teeth–you want to tell him but you know it’s going to be awkward. This is going to be awkward, at least, and it’s much more serious than having food stuck in one’s teeth.

Here we go: I’m amazed at how many of my Christian friends and acquaintances completely disregard the Bible’s teachings on sex and marriage. Again, I’m not talking about non-believers, as I would expect them to have little regard for the Bible and feel no obligation to follow its teachings. But Christians know better, or at least we’re supposed to.

Instead of adhering to the Bible’s repeated teachings that sex is a gift for men and women in the context of marriage, new rules and exception clauses seem to apply. Here’s just a few of the statements I hear:

We’re living together, so it’s OK
We’re two consenting adults
He told me he loved me
No Christian I know still thinks sex before marriage is wrong, so why should I
Surely God can’t expect a 32-year-old man to live without sex
I want to know if the sex is going to be good before I commit
We prayed about it first

Against the backdrop of these uninspiring excuses, let me offer the following: Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral, Hebrews 13:4

Friends, God isn’t some mean, nay-saying deity who gets his jollies by telling us what we can’t do. He is the creating God of the universe who knows better than any of us what’s best for us. If we disregard his teachings, then we’re set up to fail every time. Think about it–name any culture in history that has embraced the kind of sexual redefining that’s going on these days and thrived. The disregard for God’s teachings on sex are directly proportional to cultural decline (see Romans 1:18ff). Any doubts? Just look around.

Why the restraints? Why does God put limits on such a fun, exhilarating practice like sex? Because it’s a covenant act. It’s an act that expresses a no-holds-barred, unconditional, no turning back kind of love. It’s the kind of love best expressed on a cross, not in a bed.

Sex is designed by God to symbolize and express covenant love. So, I humbly submit this blog and ask that each of us rethink our understanding of sex. God’s Word, not our culture and appetites, is still the best determiner of what’s good and right.