It is Never JUST CAKE. An Inter-religious Reflection
Many years ago, before I went into Missions… I worked at a manufacturing firm as a mechanical engineer. I had a friend who was JW (a member of the Jehovah’s Witness faith). He had tried to convert me— he was a Pioneer, which meant that he was supposed to commit a certain number of hours a month to evangelizing for his faith. I will admit that many of my colleagues (and sometimes myself included) found him to be a little lazy and prone to cutting corners. Now, having looked into the hours that were supposed to be given to being a Pioneer, and the JW tendency to not honor work that is not directly associated to their mission, I understand that what we saw as laziness was a religious battle in him regarding time and priorities.
We had some interesting religious discussions over the years. However, one of the last (or maybe the last) real conversation that related to faith before he left the company struck me.
In the Engineering Department where we worked, the head secretary would always buy a cake when it was someone’s birthday. Then there would be an announcement that everyone was welcome to come down to her office, to get some cake in celebration for someone’s birthday. We would grab some, perhaps wish that someone a happy birthday, or not, and then scurry back to our own little cubicles to get a quick sugar rush before getting back to work.
On this particular day, my friend (I will call him Ricky although that is not his name) said to me, “Bob, you know I am struggling with this. The cake… well, there is really no party. One just goes by there and takes a bit of cake. They may call it a birthday cake… but I mean, it is just sitting there and one can take a bit and go. It doesn’t really mean anything thing, does it? I am saying this to you because you would understand.”
And I did understand. He was having a ethical struggle. JWs hold that birthday celebrations are “Pagan,” and so participation in such celebrations are sinful… forbidden. Ricky, however, was wondering where the line was. There is really no celebration per se. There is just a cake that one can take a piece of or not. If someone happens to call it a “birthday cake” does that suddenly make it “Pagan?”
It is kind of like that issue in the New Testament of meat sacrificed to idols? If meat is sacrificed to pagan idols but one does not know that it was, did one do something wrong? St. Paul would say “No.” Paul, in fact, seemed to embrace an early version of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. But if one suddenly finds out that it was sacrificed to idols… now one has a bit of an issue. What if there is a young believer who struggles with how to relate to the pagan gods in society? Would he misunderstand… would he be confused… would he have his conscience pricked? But suppose one did believe that knowingly eating meat sacrificed to idols is wrong… does it suddenly become wrong just because someone says so? What if someone lied? What if it wasn’t sacrificed to idols at all. If I ate meat that I knew was sacrificed to idols, would that be morally different than if I ate meat that I mistakenly THOUGHT was sacrificed to idols. Actually, one could spend all day looking at all of the possibilities.
Getting back to Ricky. How could I have responded.
#1. I could say, “Ricky. Lighten up. It is just cake!” But that does not help. For him it is not just cake… it is about trying to live a life pure before Jehovah. He fears that Jehovah is looking down on him to see whether or not he partakes of a pagan ritual. He said I would understand NOT because I would agree with him (Pagans have never had that great of power over God’s own) but because I would never step all over his beliefs by either attacking them or trivializing them. Considering a slightly different case, if I had a friend who chose to be bound by dietary ethics, and was worried about whether the cake was fully plant-based and cruelty-free, or whether all steps in production is done without exploitation, or unnecessary pollution, just because I don’t share those concerns, does in no way negate the fact that it is important (perhaps even critical) in that person.
#2. I can’t remember exactly what I said… and I don’t want to put words into my 24 year ago self. However, I believe I said something vaguely supportive. I think it was something like this. “Yeah Ricky. I think you have a point. It was bought for someone’s birthday, but it is really not a celebration. It’s a cake sitting on a desk at work. I will respect whatever you decide to do.”
I think that Ricky did not share his struggle with me ONLY because I was a (fairly) devout Christian and so I would be one who could relate to ethical struggles. I would like to think that he also saw me as one who would not belittle him for his beliefs— even if I don’t share them. I also would like to think that he saw in me someone who would not judge him for being either legalistic or libertine— excessively strict, or ethically weak.
In faith, and life in general, little things can often loom important— even vital. When talking to a person of another faith— respect them and respect their struggle.
It is never just cake.
