Breaking Through: My Journey to Getting Published
Our dreams are often pieces of us that have been a part of our lives for a long time. Some lucky people reach their goals so quickly that they make it look easy. Others spend years chasing their vision. I’ve been writing since second grade. I carried a notebook and pen everywhere I went. I had spent my whole life creating stories, and perhaps part of that was due to trying to escape a turbulent childhood.
Being a published author has been one of my lifelong dreams. There were days, months, and years when it felt as though everyone else around me was landing an agent and a book deal so swiftly that I found myself asking if there was something wrong with me. But there was nothing wrong with me. That’s why the voice of doubt that plagues us with impostor syndrome can be so detrimental. If we listen to that negative voice, we start to feel like failures when we haven’t reached our goal in the time that we expect.
It’s so easy to compare ourselves to other authors who have reached the finish line faster. Having had an agent for five years and then amicably parting ways after almost half a decade with no book deal—it certainly felt like I had failed. Something kicked me into overdrive the moment I was no longer agented. I found myself even more motivated to not give up on my dream of publication. I signed up for Publisher’s Marketplace, revised my queries for the outstanding manuscripts that I had, and then started researching not just agents but publishers accepting unsolicited manuscripts. Then, just three months after parting ways with my literary agent, I landed my own book deal and not just one. I ended up getting a three-book contract through a small press.
No, it wasn’t with the Big 5. No, I no longer had the “repped by” bragging rights. No, it wasn’t through an agent. No, I didn’t get an advance. But, it was through a legit small press—not a vanity press. The publisher and I are on texting terms. They call me directly and speak to me. There is healthy dialogue and communication between us. If I have questions, they are but a text message away. This was a huge change and improvement from the experience I had walked away from, having had a not-so-good experience with my prior representation.
This industry has a popular saying you’ve probably heard countless times: “Having no agent is far better than having a bad one.” And this saying couldn’t be more accurate. There’s a sense of entitlement and even high school cliquish behavior when you’re in the “repped by”club. Suddenly, you almost look and even feel better than other writers. But the truth is representation, or the lack thereof doesn’t determine a writer’s capabilities.
My publisher informed me that my last pre-order count was up to 133. They said this was very good for a debut author and told me they were very proud of me. It is nice for a change to hear an industry professional show kindness and use uplifting words, especially in an industry where we often hear just the opposite. We are in a field where we are almost always rejected, our work torn apart, our writing scrutinized on a line-by-line level, and our manuscripts dissected on a developmental level. So, it’s nice and even rare to hear someone say something nice to you and mean it.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Titles do not make who we are. Titles do not make us better writers. Titles such as “repped by” and inserting a fancy agent’s name don’t make someone’s story better than a writer who doesn’t have an agent. I’ll never forget the conversation I had with the small press publisher when they offered me my three-book contract. They said that I could continue to wait around for another agent, continue to wait around for a Big 5 contract, or I could accept their three-book offer. I said, “F*ck waiting around!” I could be waiting around for months and maybe even years to get another agent and then wait around more months and possibly years being on submission with no guarantee of a book contract. After having an agent for five years and walking away with zero book contracts, even being on sub with 4 of my manuscripts and facing 150 publisher rejections—I said yes to the small press deal and couldn’t be happier.
We are all on our own path and journey. Mega book deals are nice, but they do not guarantee the quality of the story and writing. Each writer’s journey is unique, marked by personal triumphs, challenges, and the relentless pursuit of their craft. It’s easy to get caught up in the allure of big contracts and prestigious representation. However, true success lies in the authenticity of our work and the passion we pour into every word. Remember, it’s not the title or the size of the deal that defines us; it’s the stories we tell and the impact they have on our readers. So, embrace your journey, celebrate your milestones, and never lose sight of why you started writing in the first place.
Your path is yours alone, and it’s leading you exactly where you need to be.
Being a published author has been one of my lifelong dreams. There were days, months, and years when it felt as though everyone else around me was landing an agent and a book deal so swiftly that I found myself asking if there was something wrong with me. But there was nothing wrong with me. That’s why the voice of doubt that plagues us with impostor syndrome can be so detrimental. If we listen to that negative voice, we start to feel like failures when we haven’t reached our goal in the time that we expect.
It’s so easy to compare ourselves to other authors who have reached the finish line faster. Having had an agent for five years and then amicably parting ways after almost half a decade with no book deal—it certainly felt like I had failed. Something kicked me into overdrive the moment I was no longer agented. I found myself even more motivated to not give up on my dream of publication. I signed up for Publisher’s Marketplace, revised my queries for the outstanding manuscripts that I had, and then started researching not just agents but publishers accepting unsolicited manuscripts. Then, just three months after parting ways with my literary agent, I landed my own book deal and not just one. I ended up getting a three-book contract through a small press.
No, it wasn’t with the Big 5. No, I no longer had the “repped by” bragging rights. No, it wasn’t through an agent. No, I didn’t get an advance. But, it was through a legit small press—not a vanity press. The publisher and I are on texting terms. They call me directly and speak to me. There is healthy dialogue and communication between us. If I have questions, they are but a text message away. This was a huge change and improvement from the experience I had walked away from, having had a not-so-good experience with my prior representation.
This industry has a popular saying you’ve probably heard countless times: “Having no agent is far better than having a bad one.” And this saying couldn’t be more accurate. There’s a sense of entitlement and even high school cliquish behavior when you’re in the “repped by”club. Suddenly, you almost look and even feel better than other writers. But the truth is representation, or the lack thereof doesn’t determine a writer’s capabilities.
My publisher informed me that my last pre-order count was up to 133. They said this was very good for a debut author and told me they were very proud of me. It is nice for a change to hear an industry professional show kindness and use uplifting words, especially in an industry where we often hear just the opposite. We are in a field where we are almost always rejected, our work torn apart, our writing scrutinized on a line-by-line level, and our manuscripts dissected on a developmental level. So, it’s nice and even rare to hear someone say something nice to you and mean it.
THE BOTTOM LINE
Titles do not make who we are. Titles do not make us better writers. Titles such as “repped by” and inserting a fancy agent’s name don’t make someone’s story better than a writer who doesn’t have an agent. I’ll never forget the conversation I had with the small press publisher when they offered me my three-book contract. They said that I could continue to wait around for another agent, continue to wait around for a Big 5 contract, or I could accept their three-book offer. I said, “F*ck waiting around!” I could be waiting around for months and maybe even years to get another agent and then wait around more months and possibly years being on submission with no guarantee of a book contract. After having an agent for five years and walking away with zero book contracts, even being on sub with 4 of my manuscripts and facing 150 publisher rejections—I said yes to the small press deal and couldn’t be happier.
We are all on our own path and journey. Mega book deals are nice, but they do not guarantee the quality of the story and writing. Each writer’s journey is unique, marked by personal triumphs, challenges, and the relentless pursuit of their craft. It’s easy to get caught up in the allure of big contracts and prestigious representation. However, true success lies in the authenticity of our work and the passion we pour into every word. Remember, it’s not the title or the size of the deal that defines us; it’s the stories we tell and the impact they have on our readers. So, embrace your journey, celebrate your milestones, and never lose sight of why you started writing in the first place.
Your path is yours alone, and it’s leading you exactly where you need to be.
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