I want to die...

 

I want todie in the wee hours of the morning, whilst the white thread of dawn is weavingits way into the dreams of people as a Benevolent Lord descends to the firstheaven, calling on His sincere lovers to come to Him. And through thatdarkness, my last breaths would rise up to Him, fragrant with words glorifying MyLord, Most High, while my head be pressed to the earth, bowing before His majesty.

I want todie completely at peace, pleased with my Lord, Him, pleased with me.

Aameen, yaRabbal Aalameen. Let it be, oh Lord of all Worlds.

For a long time, I’d asked for this death to come in the City of my Beloved,Medinah, the Illuminated, just so the feel of Medinah’s perfumed breeze,caressing my face would be the last thing I’d feel before seeing the angels descendto take me home. Because, more than anything, I wanted to rise on That Day, asa neighbour of The Beloved, (SAW) but I know I am unworthy. My efforts to bedeserving of this honour have been cursory, at best. This distinction isreserved for the Real Ones. The ones who look with the eyes of this world, butsee the hereafter. I have not reached that.  

So insteadI ask for the Tahajjud Death, alone, just me and My Lord, through whose Grace,I have found grace. In whose company I have always found solace. Through whoseLove, I have learned to love.

Let it be,my Lord.  Aameen. Aameen. Aameen.