How to Communicate Better

You might think you’re doing a great job communicating with your colleagues, but do you know that your messages are landing as intended? There are myriad reasons why attempts to connect fail, so if you need to get your message across, consider these tips for communicating better.

What is Communication?

Before we get all practical about communicating more effectively, it’s worth taking a moment to consider what the word means. Communicate comes from the Latin communis, which means to “make common.” That’s what communication is supposed to do—get you to a common understanding.

However, the word’s meaning was diluted in the 16th century when “make common” became “share,” which makes sense, but then it slipped into weaker synonyms for share, including give, transmit, or impart. Therein lies the problem: we’ve lowered the bar in communication to convey a message when the goal is to reach a common understanding. The gap is pervasive and problematic.

How to Send a Clearer Message

If you’re trying to reach a shared understanding, the first step is to send a clear, unambiguous message. You might want to do the following:

Remove Adjectives

If you’re a regular visitor to the blog, you’ll know that I’m not a fan of adjectives. They’re slippery, slimy little creatures that blur communication. Why? Because they’re inherently subjective. What does innovative, rude, tepid, or collaborative look like? You might have one answer, but there’s not much chance it’s the same answer as the person you’re communicating with. And if your audience has 100 members, asking them all to be more innovative will likely send them running madly off in all directions. Instead, replace adjectives with nouns and verbs. Innovative becomes, “I’d like you to come up with a new process that will make processing 10% faster.”

Remove Jargon & Acronyms

Jargon and acronyms are right up there with adjectives on the Most Wanted List of communication criminals. While these language shortcuts can foster efficient communication among people in the know, they degrade communication with people who aren’t.

The problem is exacerbated by the fact that most people won’t ask for clarification because doing so highlights their exclusion from the group and opens them to judgment or ridicule for not knowing. If you want your audience to get on the same page as you, make sure the book is written in a language they speak.

Add Analogies

When you want someone to envision what you’re talking about instantly, try connecting your new idea to an idea that already has purchase with them. That’s the notion behind the screenwriters who sold the movie Speed using the trope “Die Hard on a Bus.” How could you invoke an analogy or a metaphor to help your audience get your drift more easily? Is your thing like some other thing they already know? Find the perfect analogy, and your audience will have that “A-ha, I’m picking up what you’re putting down” moment.

Use Examples

While many people benefit from abstraction, others do better with a more concrete approach. Instead of pitching them “Die Hard on a Bus,” they might need to hear the plot details. “There’s a bomb on a bus. It detonates if the bus’s speed drops below 50 miles/hour.” Combining abstract connections with tangible examples gives you the best chance of landing your point as intended.

Use Their Currency

We’ve already discussed the importance of using your audience’s language; now, let’s focus on using their currency. By that, I mean you should talk about things that matter to them rather than highlighting what seems important to you. What has currency, cache, and credibility with your audience?

The pithiest version would be the quote, “No one wants a drill. What they want is the hole.” If you’re talking to your manager, you might want to discuss how your proposal would increase efficiency rather than framing it as making life easier for you. Speaking in the audience’s currency increases their motivation to listen.

Say Less

If you want your audience to understand your message, splitting it into smaller chunks rather than spewing a litany of information will make it easier. If I’m struggling to take in a long-winded statement, I often encourage people to restate their point in the length of a tweet. It forces them to think about what they really want me to know and deliver that point succinctly.

How To Ensure Your Message Was Understood?

If you’ve delivered your message clearly and concisely, you’ve set up effective communication, but you don’t know if you’ve achieved it. You can’t “make common” on your own. Or, as I like to put it,

“You can’t communicate to someone; you can only communicate with them.”

Now’s your chance to find out how your message landed.

Check and Iterate

Stop and ask questions that allow your audience to share how your message landed with them. You could say, “Tell me what you heard,” or “What are the most important points?” At first, you’ll need to be transparent that you’re asking to ensure you conveyed the idea clearly rather than as a test of their listening. Another more subtle way to check for understanding if you don’t have preexisting rapport is to ask, “What questions do you have?” or “Which parts would you like me to clarify?”

Then, with more insight into what your audience heard, you can try again to deliver your message.

Are You Actually Communicating?

You’ll notice that email, Slack, DMs, and other asynchronous transmissions make it hard to know if communication has happened. In my experience, they are excellent conduits for miscommunication, where the parties get further apart rather than closer together. Consider whether a digital message will do the job if you need to do more than transmit a message.

I won’t hazard to guess what percentage of the time I see a wide chasm between the sender’s intended message and the receiver’s interpretation, but it’s a big number. If you use the standard that you’ve only communicated if you’ve reached a shared understanding, you’ll put more effort into sending a clear message and checking that it landed. Enhancing the quality of the communication on your team will improve quality, increase efficiency, foster trust, and reduce conflict. It’s so worth it!

Additional Resources

Communicate with, not to

Tips to improve the connection when you communicate

Checklist for Effective Business Communication

 

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