Playing with Words: An Author Looks at Fun Oxymorons

by PeggySue Wells @PeggySueWells
Bulldozed by illness, I went to see the doctor.
“You have acute bronchitis,” the doctor diagnosed.
“As opposed to an ugly one?” I asked.
“Acute means ugly,” the doctor explained.
“Then why not call it that?”
“You’re feverish.” The doctor penned a prescription on a medical pad.
“Actually,” piped up my 12-year-old, “she does that to words. Don't ask her about asphalt.”
“Asphalt?” The doctor looked at me expectantly.
“Street language for constipation,” I outlined.
The doctor handed me the paper. “Get this prescription filled immediately. It’s the strongest antibiotic I’ve got.”
For wordsmiths, word play is second nature and fun. Such as forming oxymorons.
A combination of contradictory or incongruous words, an oxymoron occurs when two words with opposite meanings are put together. By juxtaposing one another, the combination provides a thoughtful contrast and can reflect humor, irony, and sarcasm. Even the definition of the word oxymoron is appropriately an oxymoron. Oxy means sharp while moron means dull. 
Here is a group of oxymorons. What would you add to the list?
adult children
authentic models
bittersweet
civil war
clearly misunderstood
cold fire
crash landing
current history
definite maybe
dull roar
extinct life
found missing
freezer burn
fried ice cream
friendly takeover
government intelligence
grow small
individual collections
jumbo shrimp
lead balloon
lost discoveries
minor miracles
negative income
neo-classic
new artifacts
old news
only choice
original copy
paper towel
peaceful conquest
permanent loans
plastic silverware
poor health
primitive advancements
private exhibit
recent past
recorded live
restored ruins
same difference
seriously funny
silent scream
soft rock
steel wool
sweet sorrow
unbiased opinion
virtual reality
working vacation
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PeggySue Wells is the bestselling author of 40 books and collaborator of many more. Action and adventure, romantic suspense, military romance, and cozy mystery are the page-turning novels by P.S. Wells, including Homeless for the Holidays, Chasing Sunrise, The Patent, and Unnatural Cause. How to live better, easier, and simpler is the focus of her nonfiction including The Ten Best Decisions A Single Mom Can Make. Founder of SingleMomCircle.com, PeggySue coaches writing and speaks at events and conferences. When not writing, she parasails, skydives, snorkels, scuba dives, rides horses, and has taken (but not passed) pilot training. Connect with her at www.PeggySueWells.com, on Facebook at PeggySue Wells, and LinkedIn at linkedin.com/in/peggysuewells