Self-imposed roadblocks to motivation.

6 minutes

Friends,

There is something that I have to be able to do to get me out of this funk.

I am losing my mind.

All the answers are in front of me but I can’t make a decision to save my life.

Back Story.

A couple of months ago, I hurt my back. Nothing big. Just couldn’t walk, sit, run, sleep, or brush my teeth without pain.

You know- old people’s problems.

But that was my excuse to stop working out. I canceled my membership to the way too-expensive iFit program and started using my treadmill as a coat rack for my motorcycle gear.

Besides, I needed to use the three hours in the morning to work on promotions—scrolling endlessly through social media and sharing my books with countless potential readers.

It was easy to justify because my back hurt, and the garage was cold. However, I refuse to get a gym membership because the time frame doesn’t work with my requirement to be at work by 7:00 a.m. and not getting home until 4:00 p.m. to make dinner.

It was easy to lose my motivation.

Oreos, Coffee, and Netflix.

The Oreos and hot cocoa have caught up to me. I can feel the fat cells expand. My muscles are getting weak and stiff. My brain is not functioning on all cylinders. Sleep is awkward because I can feel the fat rolls when I turn over. My arms are saggy, and I am beginning to see the double chin forming.

My knees hurt.

I just don’t feel good about myself.

I can’t even find a hairstyle that I like, so it hangs like a limp tree branch until I can’t take it anymore and put it up in a not-so-flattering messy bun. You know it’s bad when your hair is also being lazy.

I was flipping through Netflix last night trying to find something to watch, and I can honestly say that I have watched everything the channel has to offer. That’s how much time I spend on my couch.

The bank account says otherwise.

I blame it on the fact that I haven’t won the lottery and my books haven’t taken off.

The bank account says I can’t quit my job.

Have you seen the cost of trying to join a yoga session or a spin class? $20.00 for one visit. Who in the hell has that kind of money nowadays?

I get all motivated to go to a class and spend hours researching the times, only to find out that classes are offered between 7 a.m. and 4 p.m. This is not really all that helpful with my work schedule. I get it- instructors don’t want to get up at the crack of dawn to guide middle-aged adults through a series of downward dogs and deep breathing.

I know I wouldn’t.

What a horrible excuse I have given myself to give up. Even I can hear how dumb it sounds.

I need inspiration.

The rest of my family is active: line dancing, bike riding, hot yoga, long walks, and exploring new cities, breathing in the fresh air.

By 7:15 p.m., I am sneaking my way to the bedroom to lie down and read. Sometimes, I will take a bath and read just to force myself to stay awake until 8:00 p.m.

It’s not depression. At least, I don’t think it is. I’m on meds. So, in theory, I shouldn’t be depressed. I just lost my motivation to be the hype girl in getting out of the house. Unless it’s to go out to dinner- then I’m your girl.

No end in sight.

It’s 4:00 am, and I am trying to devise a plan to add physical movement to my schedule. But I’m hitting my own self-imposed roadblocks. I am dosing my motivation in a bucket of ice water.

I have a list of tasks to tackle: studying Eastern European mythology, brainstorming new promotions, crafting compelling blog posts, responding to emails, and reaching out to potential bookstores.

Your net worth is only as good as your network. I used to love that saying, but now I rue the day I first heard it.

You see what I’m saying? I have created the tidal wave of excuses that are a downward spiral of ‘I can’t’ instead of ‘why not’.

Solutions.

There are things I can do. I have a post-it note of ideas. Goals. Aspirations. Checklists. Motivation.

My work has a gym—literally 20 feet from my office—and they give me an hour to work out every day. I could, in theory, take gym clothes and spend the last hour of the workday on the treadmill or lifting weights.

It is in my job offer- so it’s not like I’m cheating the system.

I might try it today rather than waiting until Monday to ‘start a new chapter.’ I’ve been waiting for Monday for the last three months.

Oh, the evulsive Monday. Why does it come around once a week for everything else BUT for the things we want to do for ourselves? That is the mystery of life. Along with taxes.

Conclusion

I might just pack that bag. It’s not like I need a lot. I wear sweatshirts and tennis shoes to work every day anyway, so I can just slip on a pair of yoga pants and be ready in 5 minutes.

This is the third time this year I have made a promise to be better about my health. I want to lose weight, build muscle (not fat), and do something so I feel better in my own body and stop looking in the mirror and cringing.

Do you think it will stick this time? They say the third time is a charm.

I don’t know. My motivation is saying that I am being too ambitious.

What the hell, I’m going to try. What’s the worst that can happen?

Until tomorrow, my friends- Keep Reading and Stay Caffeinated.

If tales of legend, myth, and fantasy topped with a cup of coffee interest you, I suggest checking out my book, The Writer and the Librarian. A historical fantasy about a middle-aged woman who must choose between accepting what is written in history books or seeking out the truth behind the tales. Limited edition copies are now available on my website

Signed Copy of The Writer and the Librarian (Book 1) – R.L. Geer-Robbins / Author (rlgeerrobbins.com)

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https://a.co/d/flQhakX

Barnes and Noble: 

The Writer and the Librarian by Rose Geer-Robbins, Paperback | Barnes & Noble® (barnesandnoble.com)

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The Writer And The Librarian – (the Raven Society) By R L Geer-robbins (paperback)

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