Releasing in Tomorrow! Clan Beginnings: Clan and Crave - Chapter Five, Scene Three

  

Releasing May 31. Pre-order now: Amazon, Amazon UK, Nook, Apple, Kobo, Smashwords, print

The ghost boy haunting Conyod's home

* * **

Conyod, age 16 

“I don’t want to go home. I’m not ready.” Conyod paced Dr.Hupsan’s office, wringing his hands. He knew it for the nervous gesture it was,but he was unable to stop.

“It’s normal to be anxious,” Hupsan said, his tone steadyand calm. “It’s only for a day, Conyod. You won’t be there overnight, and anorderly will supervise the visit.”

“Maybe another month of them coming here for our visitswould be better. Yeah, I’ll be ready to go to the ranch next month. Let’s do itthen.”

“Conyod, sit down. You’re getting worked up again.”

The teen obeyed, taking the cushion across the low tablefrom his therapist. His fingers drummed the table’s top, and he winced at thenoise. He drummed his thigh instead.

Hupsan met his gaze. “Their therapist has assured me they’vemade great strides forward where misplaced grief and guilt are concerned.They’re ready for this. As are you, if you use the tools you’ve learned here.”

“Yeah. But what if they aren’t ready? My father Vel is crazyprotective. What if he won’t let me leave? How’s an orderly going to stop himfrom making me stay?”

Hupsan didn’t remark on Conyod’s rising voice. “I don’tbelieve Nobek Vel will behave in such a way. Even if he does, your Dramok andImdiko fathers won’t allow him to break the guidelines of the visitationcontract. Nor will their family counselor, who’ll be on hand to help them whileyou’re there. He’s confident Tuher and Sema are fully on board where thestipulations are concerned.”

Conyod swallowed. “They say so now, but I hurt them. Ifthey’re angry and hiding it—”

“Conyod.”

Again, there was no reprimand in Hupsan’s gentle tone.Merely caring.

Conyod drew a deep breath. The once-a-week visits hisparents were allowed at the facility where he’d been remanded had gone well forthe last four months. The first couple of attempts had been a nightmare, true,what with Lafec dissolving in hysterical tears when the time had come for theclan to leave. Vel had ended up raging, forcing Tuher and Sema to shove himthrough the exit. He’d left shouting the court and Dr. Hupsan were wrong tokeep his son caged far from his parents.

Vel hadn’t noticed the irony of accusing Hupsan of keepingConyod a virtual prisoner. It was as if he hadn’t recognized it was exactlywhat he’d done before the teen had managed to run off. It would have been funnyif it hadn’t been so horrible.

“Vel and your mother can’t override Dr. Onbal and DramokTuher, especially with Imdiko Sema backing them up. There are also emergencyprotocols local law enforcement will follow to extricate you from your homeshould the orderly request assistance or fail to check in at the appointedhour.” Hupsan gave him a level look. “Conyod, what are you really afraid of?”

How could he explain it? The fear he’d go home and findhimself unable to leave was real, as was being smothered by his parents’terror. However, his situation wasn’t much different at the institution. Hewasn’t allowed to leave its grounds unsupervised. Orderlies and security kepttabs on him in the facility.

It was different, though. He was simply a job to theinstitution’s staff. They were friendly and kind, but Conyod was one of manypatients they were paid to be responsible for.

“My existence isn’t the main focus here.” Conyod was dimlyaware he continued his line of thinking rather than answering Hupsan’squestion. “No one’s life depends on whether I’m present or if I disappear.”

“You’re important to us,” Hupsan said.

“I guess. But your world won’t end if I’m gone. My parents…Ifelt if I vanished like my brother, they’d simply…I don’t know. Cease to be.”He swallowed. “I wanted to run away ages before I did, but the fear I’d somehowcause them to die kept me from doing so until I couldn’t survive anothermoment. Is it stupid I felt not being there would kill them?”

“Not at all. You were made to feel responsible for theiremotional well-being after Hoslek’s death. No child should be asked by hisparents to shoulder such an obligation, even at your current age.”

Conyod nodded. “I think you’re right, at least in my head.But the idea of going home makes it hard to breathe. I’m afraid I’ll be crushedunder their worry.”

“I understand. I doubt you’ll be rid of the fear until youactually do return home and experience them acting differently than you expect.This short visit could go a long way to easing your concerns, if your parentsdo as they’re supposed to.”

“If they don’t—”

“Then we reassess and begin building anew.” Hupsan’s smilewas comforting. “I’m not saying there won’t be setbacks in the future, but youneed to give them a chance to do better.”

“Okay.” Doubt loaded the word.

“I gave you a project to work on. Have you considered whatwill give you a definite signal home is becoming a safe place for you to liveagain?”

Conyod had. “Nothing that would be proof for this visit.”

“No, I sincerely doubt you’d find it for a while yet. Yourassignment was for a sign you could look for in the future, maybe after a moreextended visit of a couple of days.”

“Being allowed to leave the house on my own. Even just beingoutdoors near the house when it’s dark. Maybe if they’d let me stay out allnight so I can watch for the ghost.”

“Ah, the phantom boy so many of your family’s ranch handsreported in the months prior to you running off.” Hupsan watched him sharply.“Do you believe in paranormal phenomena, Conyod?”

He shrugged. “I’ve never seen anything supernatural, but Itrust some of the guys who mentioned it.”

“Your parents were adamant the witnesses had been drinking.”

“Not all of them. Mother was convinced the ghost was real. Icaught Vel watching for it before I ran away.”

“You did?”

“I sometimes woke up at night feeling jumpy.” When Hupsan’sbrows rose, Conyod rushed to add, “I’d had a bad dream and couldn’t go back tosleep, so I decided a little walk to the stables to visit the kestarsh mighthelp.”

“I thought you weren’t allowed to leave the house when itwas dark?”

“I wasn’t. I tried to sneak out, but no matter how late itwas, I ran into my father. He was always careful when it happened, like hewas…well, Vel isn’t afraid of me, but he seemed anxious. He’d call, ‘Conyod?’as if he wasn’t sure it was me until I answered.”

“You believe he was investigating the ghost reports?”

“Why else would he be roaming outside in the middle of thenight? I doubt he believed in the ghost, but he might have been concernedsomeone was prowling around the ranch. The kestarsh are valuable.”

“Indeed. I can well understand his concerns. I’m moreinterested in why you’re wishing to encounter this so-called spirit.”

“I can be worried about the kestarsh too, can’t I? They’rethe best part of home.”

“I wonder if you’re fantasizing the ghost boy is Hoslek.”

Hupsan’s comment told Conyod he’d deduced the fascination,and there was no use denying it. The therapist’s direct gaze hinted at nothing.No derision. No judgment.

Conyod swallowed. “What if it is?”

He’d expected some form of rebuke. Because it was Hupsan, itwould be mild and couched in kind terms. It would be a rebuke, nonetheless.

The doctor surprised him. “If it’s the restless spirit ofyour brother and you have the opportunity to encounter him, you should beprepared. Have you considered what you’d say to him if given the chance?”

Conyod blinked. “Um. Well, I’d apologize.”

“For what?”

“For being such a shit when I last saw him.”

“You mean for being a little brother who wanted to followhim?”

“I threatened to tattle. I was angry because he left mebehind.”

“A perfectly normal reaction, shared by younger siblingssince time immemorial.”

“I hate it was the last thing he heard from me.” Conyodstared at his hands twisting restlessly on his lap.

“That is a hard final exchange to have had, no matter howinconsequential it would have been if Hoslek had returned. If he’d come homesafe and sound, it would have been meaningless.”

“At the same time, I wish I’d been a bigger brat and found abetter threat that would have kept him home.” His eyes stung, and he blinkedhard to make them stop.

“This is the heart of your difficulty over the loss, Conyod.This is the guilt you carry.”

The teen regarded Hupsan in surprise. “Isn’t my biggestproblem being smothered by my parents?”

“It’s the most acute issue. It’s the reason you ran fromhome, which is why the court got involved. Underlying it is a deeper pain,which hasn’t been addressed. It’s why your parents became so overwhelminglyprotective over you…guilt for having failed Hoslek.”

Conyod considered it. It had been his greatest wish to havesomehow stopped his brother from chasing the roaming mares. No thought ofHoslek occurred unless it began with if only I’d...

“Conyod, have your parents ever accused you of being atfault for your brother’s death?”

“No! They’ve never said anything like that.”

“Perhaps they didn’t have to. Maybe it was in some look youwere given or in the tone of their voices when they spoke to you?”

He shook his head. “Never. In fact, when I said I shouldhave done better a few days following the memorial service, after everyone hadgiven up on finding him, they made a big deal about it having nothing to dowith me.”

It had been quite a scene. Conyod had come into the home’scommon room one evening to find his parent clan sitting on the lounger andseating cushions surrounding the unlit firepit. The entertainment vid systemwas turned off, yet no one had spoken. They’d stared into space, theirexpressions horrible in loss.

Conyod had blurted an apology for failing to keep Hoslek athome. In an instant, his fathers and mother had sprung from their seats tosurround him. They’d clutched at him, talking over each other as they vied toreassure him he wasn’t responsible, that none of the blame was his. They’d goneon and on about how much they loved him…including Vel, who’d never utteredthose words in Conyod’s hearing.

“If they don’t blame you, why do you blame yourself?”Hupsan’s voice recalled him to the present.

“I was there. I was the only person who was around to stopHoslek, and I failed.”

“You were a little boy, Conyod. What could you have done?”

“I don’t know. There should have been something.” He hunchedhelplessly.

“There wasn’t. There was absolutely nothing you could havedone to change the result of what happened. Hoslek had made his decision, andhe was going to carry it out no matter what you did. It was a tragedy in whichno one was truly at fault. Not Hoslek, who was doing what he thought was right.Not your parents, to whom it had been proven he was responsible enough toretrieve the kestarsh when they escaped their corral, especially since ranchhands were nearby to offer help had Hoslek asked for it. Certainly not you, amere child who was under no obligation to supervise his older brother’sactions.”

Conyod raised his eyes at the firm tone. The convictionHupsan wore was ironclad.

Could it be true? Had it been no one’s fault Hoslek had dieddue to what was no doubt a chance encounter with a zibger?

He wanted to believe it, but his brother wasn’t coming home.It seemed wrong somehow to hold no one to account for the loss.

* * **

Heneeded a hero and found two. Can love rescue him again?

NobekSletran never took Imdiko Conyod’s infatuation seriously when he rescued himyears before. When Conyod shows up in his life again as a strong and successfulman instead of a traumatized victim, Sletran has to reconsider the one he oncerejected and now can’t imagine life without.

Conyod hasnever given up on the man he considers his hero. Sletran is all he’s everwanted for a clanmate, and he’s determined to win him at last. But the past refusesto be laid to rest. When Conyod convinces Sletran to see him for who he’sbecome, will who he was resurface and destroy the love they’re building?

Sletran’scommanding officer Dramok Erybet is instantly fascinated by Conyod when thesoldier brings his love on base for a visit. However, Sletran isn’t the NobekErybet feels is right for him. When he rejects the Nobek, he risks losingConyod too.

Againstthe backdrop of heartbreaking childhood tragedy, a ghost who haunts Conyod andhis grief-stricken family, and military brass determined to oust Erybet fromthe rank he’s worked so hard to reach, three men must come to terms with whothey are. When tragedy strikes, the nightmares of the past must be faced andburied once and for all. Conyod, Sletran, and Erybet must dare everything tofind redemption and hold on to each other.

Releasing tomorrow, May 31.  Pre-order now: Amazon, Amazon UK, Nook, Apple, Kobo, Smashwords, print