I Went Outside in Florida and Wasn’t Eaten By An Alligator (Not For Lack of Trying)

This story begins with an absolutely hideous bush. Specifically, an absolutely hideous bush that lived in front of my house. I can’t fully explain why, but I hate this bush. I’ve hated it since I bought the house but I didn’t have the energy to actually deal with it until recently. For over a month now, my normal lawn guy has been putting off doing it forever and eventually passed the job off to someone else to deal with. I’m slightly annoyed but I wanted the damn thing gone. 

Here is the bush in question:

I was skeptical that the job was actually going to happen so I didn’t think much of it when the app that I use for my lawn care listed the job as happening. Needless to say, I was shocked when I got the notification that someone was on their way.

Naturally, I immediately jumped out of bed, got dressed and left the house. I wasn’t sure where I was going so I grabbed my book and left the house. I ended up driving a couple minutes down the road to a nearby lake and found a nice bench to enjoy the view.

It was all fun and games until I looked closer at the water. It turns out I wasn’t alone.

LOOK AT THAT CHONKER!

Apparently he has a name but I’ve already forgotten it. A gentleman that apparently frequents the benches by the lake, made a point to point out Chonky to anyone who passed by. He said that the same gator hangs out in this general area all the time.

This isn’t an unusual sight for me and, believe it or not, I actually kind of enjoy it. Each morning I cross over the Lake Jessup bridge (the same bridge that tried to kill me with a fish). Lake Jessup being one of the most populated lakes in Florida when it comes to alligators. On calm mornings, I can usually spot a few gators floating on the surface of the water.

My sister finds it wildly unsettling that I live just a few miles away from this lake but I think it’s funny. I’d like to say that the chances of a gator actually showing up in my yard any time soon is slim, but this is Florida so the odds are never 0%. All it takes is one good hurricane to go chucking gators all over the place.

Anyway. The bush is gone now.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the roots that the landscaper decided to make my problem?