What If This Is It? As Good As It Gets.

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Good morning to all. I’ve been awake since 3 AM and finally around 5 AM I heard a bird singing outside and decided that if he was up, I could be up too. I brewed a little pot of coffee, but it turned out I had forgotten to put espresso in the pot so I had to try that again. Now I am nestled in bed with one child cuddled up beside me and my creamy, sweet coffee at my side. The sun is not over the mountains yet but it’s light out and all the birds are up talking and singing, I hear the squirrels scurrying up the trees and playing. These are their fun days. They play all day in Spring and Summer.

I was thinking about the Cricket and the Ant story this morning. I was also thinking about using things up. I had some fancy whipping cream that I never buy and I wanted to save it for as long as I could but it was already past the sell buy date and I had to use it up fast or miss out on this treat. I was thinking about how we hold on to things; money, fine China, dreams, and we miss out because we don’t want to spend it all or break it or use it up or fail.

I thought about the Cricket that played too much and didn’t prepare or store food and was screwed once winter started. He had to rely on the ants that worked so hard to be ready.

I think about the squirrels and how much they play, but when it’s time to harvest nuts and prepare for winter they work as hard as they play and they don’t mess around. If you see them in the Summer, you think all they do is play and run about like silly things. Come Fall, you see a whole other squirrel, industrious, wise, prepared.

There is a fine line for preparing in life and then being over zealous. Being frugal and then getting into a scarcity mindset. Saving things but in the end never using them.

I’ve also thought about my life as a writer and influencer. I checked my book sales this morning and the last few days have been less than stellar. I had a real run on book sales for a couple months and made some wonderful money and now it’s petered out. Every time I publish a book, I have about two good months and then it slows to a dripping faucets pace.

I have a couple months in the Fall when I make a lot of money on YouTube and then it goes back to a small but decent income.

I have learned that when we have money windfalls, I sit with the money for a few days, if I can, and I think hard about where it will serve us best. I love stocking the pantry as it is fun building your own little grocery store and when you have lean times, you have a full pantry to get buy on for months. I love stocking up everything because, like the squirrels, it gets us through the winters or slowing earning months. I always have a savings. That gives us a stress free existence. No matter how tight it gets with money, knowing you have a reserve makes it peaceful in my mind. I never worry knowing I have a back up.

However, I’ve been at it for years and I sometimes wonder if this is it? This is as good as it gets? What if I never do well in fiction and my homemaking lifestyle books run dry? What if my channel never grows much past what it is? What if this is the highest level I can raise up to?

And I think the idea that this is it and it’s just fine if it is, gives me a sense of peace. I can let go a little, stop trying so hard and just focus on having fun and being creative. It takes the pressure off, because if this is it, we are doing pretty well and life is good. We have a nice, cozy home and good food, good coffee, soft beds, piles of library books and movies, and I have hobbies that earn me a little cash every month. How great is all that? Do we need more? I don’t think so. We also have phenomenal health, good and true friends, a cute little dog, land, a huge garden, an orchard, some basic smarts and wisdom on rare occasions, and we live in a wonderful place with so many trails and rivers and historic towns and thick forest.

We are rich! So what if I have a dozen cracks and peeled paint on my old Toyota car, it’s clean right now and I just bought a new scented tree for it. I love the coconut one or maybe it’s Pina Colada. So what if we have to do almost everything DIY, we have learned so much and have so many skills now. So what if I can only dream of having a maid, I do the cleaning myself and get a good work out and therapy at the same time. And so what if my books aren’t popular yet, I have a sweet community on YouTube and I enjoy every book I write. I don’t go through all the dramatic suffering other writers talk about, I love writing. A mug of coffee and my laptop and I’m in heaven.

So, I will work and play like my squirrels and store away nuts when they are there and abundant and play when things are slow in work. I’ll appreciate all the sweet gifts life brings and not get stuck in “more, more, more!”

Jim Carrey said in an interview about him retiring from Hollywood, “I have enough, I’ve done enough, I am enough”.

We don’t hear that often but it is the path to fulfillment.