One Of My Worst Fears

Yesterday, there was severe and very scary weather where I live in Tallahassee, FL – multiple tornadoes were reported to have touched down in the area.

I have been terrified of tornadoes since I was a little girl. On the list of things I have always said I never, ever wanted to experience, tornadoes were pretty much at the top of the list.

Twister (which interestingly enough was released twenty-eight years ago yesterday in 1996 – imagine that lol) confirmed my intense fear of tornadoes.

Most of my fear stemmed from the fact that tornadoes were so unfamiliar to me. As a Florida native, I have been in multiple hurricanes. As scary as those can be, I know what they are like. But (as far as I know) I have never experienced a tornado and know very little about them. They are so wild and unpredictable.

I didn’t get much sleep on Thursday night so when the tornado warning for my area was broadcasted on Friday morning, I had only fallen asleep for maybe an hour or so. As I headed downstairs barely awake, I still hadn’t registered that the tornado warning that was blaring on my phone was distinctly different from the tornado watch that usually comes on during bad weather.

Right before the worst of the storm hit us, I looked outside and saw that the sky was colored a green tint.

This wasn’t the first time I’d seen this. Just a few months ago, a storm came through our area that caused the same thing to happen. That time, though, the weather had eventually died down. This time, I watched as the wind began to beat violently against a tree in front of our house with an increasing intensity that I could hardly keep up with, the sky seemingly growing greener and greener as the wind grew more ferocious.

I started praying that things would calm down and that the storm would pass us.

Just then, my mother called for me saying that we were about to get hit. As I walked into the living room, the lights and television began to flicker and I heard the wind picking up outside along with the sound of debris hitting the house.

My mother ushered everyone into the downstairs bathroom and although I almost hesitated to join her, for some reason, I still obediently followed her.

I will never forget the sounds I heard as we sheltered together in that bathroom. I honestly pray that I never have to hear sounds like that again.

All I could think about was the safety of my loved ones. All I could think about was my own safety.

I didn’t think about material possessions. I didn’t think about the plans I had for the day. I didn’t think about career goals or accolades.

I prayed and prayed.

I asked everyone if we could sing a hymn together to calm myself down.

I wondered what we were going to see when we were finally able to open the bathroom door.

I was so afraid.

But as afraid as I was, I also had an inexplicable peace in the thought that whatever happened to me or my loved ones, we were ultimately in God’s hands.

When things started to quiet down and we felt that it was safe enough, we opened the bathroom door. To my surprise, everything was just as it had been when we rushed into the bathroom although the electricity in the house was now off.

Isn’t it funny how the whole world can be in total chaos but something like a flower or a television remote on a kitchen counter can be blissfully unaware of it?

While there was some damage outside, our home and neighborhood were otherwise completely fine. Unfortunately, many people had it so much worse than we did.

I’m still a little shaken up but I also have this thought echoing through my mind: “Ok, I went through that. It happened. It’s over now”.

As repairs continue in our area and power is restored, I am grateful to live in a community where everyone takes care of each other so sweetly (I really, really, really love living in Tallahassee sooooo much ).

I am contemplating God’s power and giving the part of myself that is still gripped with fear over the thought of being in another tornado (or having to face any of my other worst fears) to Him.

I am doing the math in my head and trying to figure out just how one of my planting pots went from sitting on our back deck to being in my neighbor’s front yard.

I am DEEPLY concerned over the tiny part of my brain that went, “Whoa, that was kind of exhilarating” after the storm was over”.

Me @ myself:

I am pondering Psalm 121:4, “Behold, he that keepeth Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep” (KJV) and this quote from Charles Spurgeon, “The eyes of the Lord thy God are always upon thee, O believer, from the beginning of the year even to the end of the year” which have both been so comforting to me recently.

I am resting in the fact that no matter what happens, God is on His throne.