CONFESSIONS OF A DOPE DILETTANTE, PART TWO

 
I left you hanging with a mention of another drug that I didn’t giveup after the bad trip.

That was caffeine.

(I never got into tabacco products. Nicotine had no allure for me,but that’s another story . . .)

I wasn’t a coffee snob being persnickety over the specifics of aconcoction with lots of milk products, flavoring and spices. This was drugabuse. My relationship with caffeine was what allowed me to write aboutaddiction. Again, research. 

I liked it black—what the baristas these days call “cafeAmericano”—and strong. I couldn’t imagine starting a day without a few bittercups to get my nerves jangling.

At home, I would use instant coffee, which the current generationfinds shocking, but when you don’t care about esoteric taste sensations, itprovides a way to bring on a buzz that has near-hallucinogenic effects.

Another perk is that it’s legal, and socially acceptable, apsychoactive drug with an entire industry devoted to making it available.Imagine an alternate universe where addicts on the street consume superchargedcrack/fentanyl-like caffeine products while law-abiding citizens enjoycigarettes and chewing gum laced with coca and opioids. There but for the graceof Xochipilli . . .

After a while, I began to notice the jitters making me sloppy, inwriting, and my day job at Borders, where they provided free coffee for theemployees—fiendish, huh? At my yearly doctor’s checkup my blood-pressure was alwaysa little high.

“Did you have any coffee today?” the doc would ask.

When I said yes, he’d tell me to skip it tomorrow and come backand I would be okay.

Then my dad died.

He had high blood pressure, and heart disease got him.

I remember a high school teacher saying, “For a lot of people,their first sign of heart disease is their death.”

I made some adjustments in my diet and decided to give upcaffeine. And since my wife, Emily, had decaffeinated earlier, and was sneakingmore and more decaf into my (now non-instant) brew, it was easy.

It hasn’t seemed to affect my writing. Most of the storiesin Guerrilla Mural of a Siren’s Song were written under the influence.The later stories are different in that I’m an older writer who has managed tolearn a few things. I must admit that my first drafts aren’t quite as messy asthey once were, sort of . . .

I still drink coffee, decaf, and I seem to get a placebo-effect buzzoff it.

Sometimes when in an outback areas where they have religiousobjections to decaf, I’ll down some regular–because I believe that Puritanismis a bad idea, never say never–and it’s . . . fun!

But whatever it is, the more you use, and the older you get, itgets less fun.

George Carlin in his old age would keep one joint in his house,and when he’d get stuck writing, he’d light up, take a toke, and get back towork. That’s the way I am with caffeine these days.

Because it’s the work that’s important. And who knows what kind of“research” it may require.

Speaking of which, I have more research I need to get back to . ..

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