Secrets of The Forgotten Staircase, Part Two: Fragility/Smallness
Welcome to part two of a new series where we analyze some of the themes and secrets hidden inside the forgotten staircase.
For those who don't know, the forgotten staircase is a psychological horror novel inspired by my experience with and hospitalization from symptoms of complex PTSD. Fair warning: This book can be graphic, and scary at times. It deals with difficult topics which will be triggering to some readers. But it does so in an attempt to offer a glimpse into what it can feel like to suffer from this mostly hidden disorder.
Miriam loves butterflies. She uses the butterfly almost as her personal symbol. When she explains why she loves them, she says: “The most beautiful creatures are always the most fragile.” Jade's smallness and her fragility make her feel weak. It also makes her a target for people like Miriam who enjoy the power trip they get from stepping on something that can't fight back.
Jade feels her smallness most acutely in relation to her mother.
"The more life beats you down, the harder you are supposed to pull up on your bootstraps, Jade remembered. All those beatings had been wasted on Jade. In her case, pressure had never created the diamonds her mother flaunted so proudly. Some people are just made of softer stuff, and all that pressure just grinds them down. But she always thought her mother preferred it this way. If Jade was soft and small, her mother, by comparison, was a titan."
Her feeling of powerlessness to change the world around her is overwhelming and gives her anxiety about anything outside of her personal space. She views herself as a ghost, something too insubstantial to notice, and humanity as a callous machine ever marching forward. She felt that life passed through her and over her while her presence could hardly form a ripple.
"The momentum of the crowd, an unstoppable force moving towards a common goal, made Jade feel so small."
But it also releases her from guilt. She feels helpless, but that means that nothing is ever her fault.
"She was used to feeling helpless. To her, people had woven themselves into a web of consciousness stretching from birth to death. Everyone was tied to everyone else, and the will of the masses decided the movement of the web. She could no more change the course of humanity than a single stone could stop the path of a river. "
We see her returning again and again to the comfort of inaction, even though action is the very thing she needs to free herself. There is a theory in psychology called "learned helplessness." After someone repeatedly finds themselves in a situation they cannot change, they stop believing change is possible. In experiments, subjects were electrocuted over and over with no escape until they no longer struggled. Then, when they were given an easy path of escape, they chose not to leave. They just stayed with the electrical shocks, believing all future attempts to flee would be hopeless.
What do you find yourself admiring more? Things that are fragile or things that are strong?
https://www.tiktok.com/@theforgottens...
For those who don't know, the forgotten staircase is a psychological horror novel inspired by my experience with and hospitalization from symptoms of complex PTSD. Fair warning: This book can be graphic, and scary at times. It deals with difficult topics which will be triggering to some readers. But it does so in an attempt to offer a glimpse into what it can feel like to suffer from this mostly hidden disorder.
Miriam loves butterflies. She uses the butterfly almost as her personal symbol. When she explains why she loves them, she says: “The most beautiful creatures are always the most fragile.” Jade's smallness and her fragility make her feel weak. It also makes her a target for people like Miriam who enjoy the power trip they get from stepping on something that can't fight back.
Jade feels her smallness most acutely in relation to her mother.
"The more life beats you down, the harder you are supposed to pull up on your bootstraps, Jade remembered. All those beatings had been wasted on Jade. In her case, pressure had never created the diamonds her mother flaunted so proudly. Some people are just made of softer stuff, and all that pressure just grinds them down. But she always thought her mother preferred it this way. If Jade was soft and small, her mother, by comparison, was a titan."
Her feeling of powerlessness to change the world around her is overwhelming and gives her anxiety about anything outside of her personal space. She views herself as a ghost, something too insubstantial to notice, and humanity as a callous machine ever marching forward. She felt that life passed through her and over her while her presence could hardly form a ripple.
"The momentum of the crowd, an unstoppable force moving towards a common goal, made Jade feel so small."
But it also releases her from guilt. She feels helpless, but that means that nothing is ever her fault.
"She was used to feeling helpless. To her, people had woven themselves into a web of consciousness stretching from birth to death. Everyone was tied to everyone else, and the will of the masses decided the movement of the web. She could no more change the course of humanity than a single stone could stop the path of a river. "
We see her returning again and again to the comfort of inaction, even though action is the very thing she needs to free herself. There is a theory in psychology called "learned helplessness." After someone repeatedly finds themselves in a situation they cannot change, they stop believing change is possible. In experiments, subjects were electrocuted over and over with no escape until they no longer struggled. Then, when they were given an easy path of escape, they chose not to leave. They just stayed with the electrical shocks, believing all future attempts to flee would be hopeless.
What do you find yourself admiring more? Things that are fragile or things that are strong?
https://www.tiktok.com/@theforgottens...
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