God Meets With His Editor

By Ali Solomon 

GOD: Did you get the new tablets I sent you?  

EDITOR: I did. All seventy-five of them.  

GOD: And? What do you think?  

EDITOR: Some good stuff in there—”Thou shalt not spit on the ground in public.” Solid. “Thou shalt not double-dip in thy neighbor’s honey.” Also gold. 

GOD: But? 

EDITOR: We’re trying to tighten this up, make it as relatable as possible.  

GOD: Spitting on the ground is gross.  

EDITOR: I agree. Totally gross. But do people hate it as...