I took a month off work – here’s how it went

Back in February, I randomly came up with the kind-of-crazy-but-very-exciting idea to take a whole month off work. At first, it was just a joke. “So many things keep getting added to my calendar for April, I might as well take the entire month off work,” I commented dryly to my mom. But the idea took root and germinated. A friend of mine who runs a nonprofit had just gone on sabbatical for three months. Why can’t I have a sabbatical?, I thought wryly. And then: Why can’t I have a sabbatical? And just like that, I’d talked myself into it and the idea was born.

To be clear, most weeks I’m usually only physically able to work approximately 10 hours a week, anyway. (I work as a freelance writer and content marketer in the healthcare and tech industries through my business The Hardworking Creative, LLC.) So it’s not like I was stepping away from a full-time job. I considered still making myself available for a few clients in April, but decided that no, I wanted a clean break. Even if I’m only actively sitting at my computer working for ~10 hours each week, there’s still the mental load–constantly thinking about that email I need to send or that piece I need to edit–and there’s still the fact that any time my body is feeling well and I have energy, I feel like I need to devote it to work. What a luxury it would be to get up and immediately sit down with a fresh brain to write a novel or a poem or a song on every day of the week instead of just Saturday!

I started preparing for my sabbatical early, telling my clients in mid-February that I’d be unavailable during the month of April. For a couple of them, I offered to do a little extra work in March and May. For others, I didn’t (because the idea was to not kill myself working ahead in March). All of my clients were wonderful, responding something along the lines of, “No problem–here’s some stuff for you to start in May once you’re back.” I decided that I would still check email every few days in April and respond to anything that came up (such as a potential new client inquiring about my availability).

I hadn’t taken this much time off work, like, ever. Before this month, two weeks were the most consecutive days I’d ever taken off–and that usually only happens once a year, at Christmas (when your schedule is different, anyway). My “things I want to do during my sabbatical” list filled up VERY quickly, and I had to remind myself that I only had four weeks and the main idea was to rest. Yes, to see my friends and my grandpa and possibly take a weekend trip, but also to just sit in the sunshine without my phone and read poetry.

So… how did my sabbatical month end up working out? Let’s take a look! (You can also see a video wrap-up of the month on my YouTube channel, and read my usual monthly wrap-up blog post.)

Reflecting on my sabbatical

I had three “big events” going on this month that involved seeing friends or family from out of town (Hannah’s book tour, Annabelle’s graduation in Oklahoma, and Grandpa’s visit). I packed so many wonderful experiences and memories into each one, and it was great to have ample time to rest before and after without stressing about getting ahead on work. Each of these filled my heart with joy! I also spent other (shorter!) fun times with friends, family, and people I love, and was reminded over and over of how blessed I am by the people in my life. Truly, my friends are the best part of me.

I continued doing normal life things this month, like church, voice lessons, and doctor’s appointments. It was nice to have more capacity to focus on those rather than being stressed about squeezing them into my limited energy. I’d intended to do some life catch-up things this month, like home organization or getting my messed-up laptop audio fixed, but most of those tasks didn’t happen… whoops. But of course, I consumed and created SO much good art–and that’s always my priority!

I particularly focused on watching movies and reading nonfiction since I usually struggle to find the energy for those. Anytime I’m able to consume things like poetry and theology (instead of only having the energy for B2B tech articles and Instagram), I can’t describe how right it makes my brain feel. Stuffing in new concepts and beautiful language makes my brain feel GOOD. It’s similar to the feeling you might get after a big Thanksgiving dinner–you feel satisfied and full (and maybe a little stretched) of interesting, flavorful food. I wish I had the physical, cognitive, and creative energy to make myself feel this way all the time. Truly, all I want in life is to READ!

I also unexpectedly started writing my own nonfiction book this month, which of course absolutely consumed my brain in the best way. I have a ~20,000 word brain dump outline ready to go to begin drafting. And I enjoyed things like writing Escapril pieces, catching up on pen pal letters, and making YouTube videos.

“I’m in that phase with [my book] where I can barely hold a conversation or take a shower without my fingers itching to write down new topics and paragraphs. When a book is writing itself in my head, that makes me feel like ME. I can’t do anything about it, I just have to ride the wave. And boy, this one is COMING. And now is the time… I forget how much it is truly my happiest of happy places to be sitting at my window writing a book, with my whiteboard, and stacks of reference books everywhere. It feels so good–it feels like ME.”

I also pondered the idea of newness this month. In my earlier adulthood, a value that was important to me was newness–pushing myself to visit new places, meet new people, have new experiences. But then life faded into survival mode as my body became more sick and less able. This month, however, it was really nice to have the space to tap into that again–whether the “newness” looked like traveling to a state I’d never been to, going on a first date, or simply trying a different coffee shop drink (I like chai tea lattes and matcha, who knew). I think doing new things is important for everyone, but especially for creatives! And these new, different experiences are certainly a part of why I feel like I grew so much this month.

In some ways, however, I discovered that a month was almost too much time. A month is really a LONG time, and by the start of the third week (which was the only week without a “big event” anchoring it), I decided maybe it wasn’t so great anymore for me to be floating through my days with nothing to do. Of course I had things to do; I left the house every day (which is more often than usual for me) and I had a long list of projects I wanted to work on. But unwelcome emotions were pushing their way into the extra space in my brain. I don’t usually struggle with anxiety on a regular basis, but in April I experienced a pretty good bit of anxiety on and off, for no discernable reason. There were many times when I randomly felt like I wanted to cry, also for no reason (deep happiness and thankfulness? Bittersweeet-ness or future grief? Who can tell). And sometimes, I felt depressed, blue, and off, struggling to motivate myself to do anything–especially any “real life” things, like medical phone calls or laundry (I am truly ashamed to admit the state of my laundry room this entire month). At first, it had felt amazing to not be scheduling out my weekdays by the hour like I usually do; I felt gloriously un-rushed. But this wide-openness lacked the structure I probably needed. Perhaps there is such a thing as too much space, after all.

While part of me was ready to get back to my usual routine (ask me the day of the week at any time during April and I couldn’t have told you), I was also facing an amplified case of the Sunday Scaries as the month drew to a close. Job? What job? I didn’t want to go back to work! People, sunshine + trees, and poetry + music (preferably all together at the same time) are the ingredients for my mental health. But these things sap my physical health more than I’d like. And after thirty glorious days packed with sunshine and people and poetry, the idea of once again getting up every day only to sit on my couch by myself and work seemed boring, monotonous, and lonely. I wasn’t sure what the transition back would feel like (and admittedly didn’t always have a very good attitude about it).

Now, at the very end of my sabbatical as I reflect on everything that happened this month, I find myself both ready and not ready for the month to end. Overall, I’d say my sabbatical was certainly a success. But there are a few things I might do differently next time, such as taking a shorter time frame and designating it for one specific project (“I’m taking off work for two weeks to accomplish xyz”). I don’t think I can be happy truly doing nothing. But April was absolutely wonderful. I feel rested and refreshed. I made so many wonderful memories. I learned and grew and experienced and created. And there were so many moments when I felt deeply happy, thankful, and in love with the world and with life. I’m grateful I had the ability to take this month off work and to do everything I did. Now… it’s back to work, and apparently, it’s also time to write a book!!

Have you ever taken a sabbatical, or an extended time off work? I would love to hear about it!