A shy writer’s guide to talking to other writers!

I wanted to write this post purely for myself! I had an encounter at work where a coworker told me someone had told them that I was a writer. This was nice and I didn’t get embarrassed (for once) but when it came time to actually talk writing and books, I panicked. Luckily, he had to dash off anyway but another encounter is coming! I mean, I talk about writing every week on my podcast and with my bestie, so why was this so hard?!

Why it’s hard to talk about writing and being a writer

It’s hard to talk about our writing because it’s often deeply personal. Whether it’s fiction or non-fiction, we put ourselves and our interests into our work. This is why it can be hard to talk to others about it unless they already know us well. It’s like saying “hey stranger, judge me, please, on the fact that I love faeries or want to write about pregnancy phobias!” It’s scary, vulnerable stuff.

Then there’s the fact that it’s often a case of our ideas are new and unorganised and so it’s hard to then cohesively and impressively express that to other writers or people who take an interest in our work. What if it comes out all wrong? What if they think it’s stupid and it taints the idea for us (happens to me all the time!). What if they find all the holes in my work?

Lastly, I don’t know about all writers, but my process isn’t simple. It’s not a case of a list of things I always do to create my stories. Therefore, explaining it to others or sharing tips can be hard at times in an in-person conversation. I much prefer the blog and podcast format where I can update you every week with my new writing process tips!

Tips for shy writers on how to talk about your writing

When speaking to other writers, remember that they should know a little about how you feel. They too may feel awkward or worried about sharing their work and process. Remember you can help one another, laugh at the same mishaps you’ve had, and maybe find a new friend. That problem you’ve been having could be a thing of the past once you learn how to open up.

Quick tips:

Ask what genre they write or are drawn to most Discuss any aspirations you both have Ask if they prefer shorter or longer fiction writing Are they more of a prose writer or character driven or plot driven (or other) Discuss different drafting styles – fast draft, zero draft, outlining, plotting, discovery writing, short story to novel conversion and all the rest Discuss your favourite authors or books (this shows an insight, sometimes, into who they are as a writer too) Ask who inspires them and what kind of book (or other) they would like their work to be likeAsk if they have shared their work anywhere before (self published, traditionally, online, paid work, competitions, website etc)Discuss what your best writing practices and motivations are – morning, night, coffee in hand, after a yoga session, lighting a candle, on a Sunday afternoon etc Ask if you can read some of their work or offer your help if they are stuck on something and need feedback

In short, writers need to be friends with other writers. It makes the lonely pursuit of this dream so much easier. And everyone is a stranger until you say hello! Be brave enough to have a conversation and start a friendship or partnership that could be pivotal for you both.

Happy friend-making and writing to you!

Sincerely,

S. xx