The Arrogance of Training Animals Silly Tricks.
Do you follow the Iditarod, too? Northern breeds are such athletes with their instincts on full display. These half-wild dogs are perfect. They get to run with their pack. Then they stop and all lie down to rest. They eat better than most of our dogs. And then, with very little steering, they run some more. It’s a beautiful thing to see dogs get to do the thing their instinct compels them to do.
Like equine endurance events, this race has required stops and safety procedures. Mushers take brilliant care of their dogs. At the end of the race, the winning musher and his lead dog both look fried and zealous for the camera. They are a matching set. These same dogs would make lousy couch potatoes. You need a greyhound for that.
(I recommend reading Winterdance by Gary Paulsen. It details the massive learning curve and passion required. You laugh and gasp for air, and eventually, it all makes sense, a primer for obsession. But only to a special kind of dog person. Or maybe someone with horses.)
The photo above is Walter, my first rescue Corgi, lure coursing. He would have made a lousy sled dog with his many physical shortcomings, but lure coursing was his passion. He translated his herding instinct into chasing plastic bags, and sight hounds beware, he rocked. And everyone lets their dogs bark all they want. No one yells to hush them. It was a flawless day. The guys handling the runs chuckled at Walter at first, but he ran hard. By the end of the day, they made a point of telling us they respected Walter. We beamed.
One of my current dogs is an Olympic-caliber barker, Preacher Man. Not really a sport, I guess. In his dotage, he is practically deaf and prefers to live under my desk. He finally sleeps better. Jack, the Terrier, bounces waist-high and never quite trusts his luck. He’s a good dog in his own mind and that’s close enough. My other dog, Mister, was recently in training for a public appearance. I wanted to take him to a Barnes and Noble book event with me because I get nervous if there aren’t animals around. Maybe people would stop and buy a copy of Undomesticated Women, him being more attractive than an author attempting PR.
Besides, Mister is mad that we’ve been home all winter. He has been sidelined from agility, where he is quick and intuitive but flatly refuses a sit/stay. I think he does it on principle. Sometimes, I take him along to the feed store but many dogs there are bigger than him. Mister does not fraternize with large dogs. He expects me to remember that.
Mister is a Literary dog. He sleeps in while I write and walks me when I need a break. He doesn’t join me when I’m training horses but waits in the air conditioning for me to return, dirty and exhausted, to rub his belly. Because it’s all about him. When I get into bed, barely able to keep my eyes open, he likes a nice twenty-minute game of tug. Mister has traveled over 20,000 miles with me and I have never missed his dinnertime. It’s a different kind of Iditarod, one he is uniquely qualified for.
But a Barnes & Noble bookstore? Their rules would probably be hard for me to follow. Four hours of people walking by? Could I do two things at once; be there for Mister and promote my book? I could bring his crate, but people always want to touch everything and he doesn’t enjoy strangers patting his head. He squints his eyes when people lean over him and stick out a fist. He’s right, it’s rude.
It should be his decision. This is when he breaks into a growly version of What Was I Made For with Preach signing the high parts.
Mister let me know he has better things to do than be my shill and I should suck it up and go to the book event alone. As usual, he’s unimpressed with my tiny would-be fame. He was right. It was a long day in a crowded store with too much talking. He would have hated it.
Do you ever consider how much of what we train is about making animals do things they don’t want to do? Some training is necessary, but how much is human arrogance? In a world where there are search and rescue dogs, it’s depressing when we teach dogs to do unnatural or awkward things and then boast of our domination. We make them parody humans and let children tease them. We correct their natural skills and ask them to do silly tricks. We expect them to surrender their instincts to live inside and amuse us. What if we got the whole thing backward?
I wonder if all those “cute” social media posts aren’t just us showing off a bit. I wonder because I recognize the things I used to make my dogs do so I could show off.
I grew out of it. I’ve given up training party tricks and instead, I want dogs to be dogs. I’d rather they please themselves. I say bring on the Corgis and Terriers and Northern dogs who demand we come into their world instead of us dressing them up in little suits in ours.
It comes from living with rescues who don’t entirely trust humans. They need more listening and less obedience. After all, the Calming Signals language I teach horse people began in the dog world. I know Jack isn’t smiling. He pulls his lips into a sneer when he’s nervous. Preacher Man barks when people talk because he’s heard enough. He rolls belly up but not because he has an itch. And Mister, my only dog able to cope in public, doesn’t thrive on human interaction any more than I do. We’re introverts. A matching set.
Cue our personal Iditarod. Next week, Mister and I leave for clinic work in Texas and he can’t wait. Last time we got to Barn Hunt some rats in tubes. Can you imagine? He barks and watches me load the road trip necessities. Sometimes he breaks out and runs to the trailer door. It’s a luxurious crate with more amenities than those silly wire ones. His has a double dog bed covered with travel toys. And there will be whole days in the truck when I drive and scratch his ears nonstop. Mister is a narcissist with a fantasy of being an only dog. And I am his driver.
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Available Now! Undomesticated Women, Anectdotal Evidence from the Road, is my new travel memoir. Ride along on a tour through 30 states, 2 oceans, and 14k miles with me and my dog, Mister. It is an unapologetic celebration of sunsets, horses, RV parks, roadkill, diverse landscapes, and undomesticated women. Available now at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and signed copies from me.
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