Too bad “Transformers 3″ couldn’t transform into a good movie…
I just endured “Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon” and honestly, it wasn’t easy.
The movie lacked any sort of idea as to what identity it wanted to have. It seemed as if it wanted to be a Saturday Night Live skit with all of the horrible jokes that seemed to last forever; All that was missing was a cameo from Will Ferrell then it would have accomplished being that.
If the movie wanted to be taken seriously, it should have forgotten about the issue of replacing Megan Fox. Instead, kill her off and don’t replace her with a new leading lady. Bay spends the entire first 30 minutes trying to make us believe that Shia LeBouf has some reason to be with his “supermodel” new girlfriend (who really showed off her acting skills). Even his parents fail to acknowledge how and why she’s with him, the mom going as far as making a joke about his manhood. Really, Transformers? What do you want to be, a cartoon franchise or a cinemax special?
Throughout the movie Bay tries to make us care about anything and everything. Yet he fails miserably, especially given his track record of never ridding the franchise of any of the main characters. Perhaps if the audience actually thought something might happen to one of them then they’d be concerned.
I couldn’t help but hope that an asteroid would come and strike the planet so that the entire franchise would end. Instead, the movie continued on for another hour and forty five minutes, with a running time of over two and a half hours. Did Bay really think he could keep anyone’s attention for that long?
I hated the characters. I hated the woman who was in charge of security, the leading actress, and most of the fill-in characters waiting to drop their cheesy line with the hope of a giggle from the audience. All the while waiting for the plot to surface. When they finally revealed it, the movie could have been over within five minutes so we were forced to suffer through it while the sophisticated alien robots deciphered the “twist.”
Even the ending, which I won’t spoil — not sure that it’s a big shocker, but I’ll let you determine that — was lackluster and seen from a mile away. What’s even more incredible is that there’s always room for another movie in the series.
Here’s hoping that the Transformers are done. Let’s all move on and hope there’s never another one. It has ran its course, used every special effect possible, and failed to determine what the word plot means. It’s time to let another 80′s cartoon have their time in the spotlight. Bring on the Thundercats!
