April 5, 2024: Eclipsalypse Now!
So, how’re you all ushering in the Eclipsaylpse? Apparently, people are attending watch parties.
From what I understand, it’s dangerous to stare directly at an eclipse so you either have to peer at them through a pinhole in a piece of cardboard or watch them in mirrored reflection. Or is that basilisks? I always get the two confused.
Anyway, burning a hole in your retina may be the least of your problems as conspiracy theories abound regarding this extra special eclipsalypse. In a best case scenario, we may get away with a mere stock market crash. A more dire prediction seems the world shaken by a series of immense earthquakes. I, of course, dismissed the notion as nonsense, and then that earthquake in Taiwan the other day…
Followed by that earthquake in New York today…
Of course it’s nonsense. But just to be on the safe side, I’ve stocked up on La Croix, tin cod livers, and chocolate.
On a somewhat related note, came across this old article about what the continents will look like after the looming polar shift/nuclear war/alien invasion.
Oh, remind me to pick up more dog food!
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