The One That Got Away (aka My Glasses & the Button on the Japanese Toilet I Was Too Afraid to Press)

So I'm pretty sure my eyeglasses have been kidnapped by the mafia.

That's a normal way to start an entry after slacking off for two months to go off and do ridiculously exciting things like visiting japan, repeatedly kissing a very tall boy, designing half dozen books, getting ready for two conventions, AND preparing to move into my 9th (yes that's right 9TH) new place since I moved to NYC 7 years ago, right? Also all sentences should be this long, "this" meaning the sentence before this on...