Tabletop Tuesday — A Snek? A Snek! Oh, God, it’s a Snek!

Hey all! It’s occurred to me for some time now that Tabletop Tuesday was a thing I kind of dropped the ball on, but I had a few balls in the air. Life was (and is) doing that “interesting times” thing; writing the new book; editing, proofing, and getting Triad Magic ready for release (which happened yesterday at the publisher webstore, and will be widely available everywhere else next week); oh, and did I mention I need a heart monitor but no one can seemingly get me one?

I’m sure that’s fine, right? Right.

I’m actually doing okay, it’s not the end of the world that there’s a delay in finding out what might (or might not) be going on in my chest cavity with the blood-muscle-pumpy-thing, but in the meanwhile, how about we talk snakes?

Your Mission, Should You Choose to Accept It… His sunglasses!

Okay, so I’ve talked about Brandon Crilly before, I’m sure, but here’s a quick re-cap/précis: he’s an awesome author, gamer, teacher, and all-around human being who I’ve been lucky to know these past mumble-mumble years, ever since I first bumped into him via Can-Con, my local SF Convention. He’s one of the players in both my Mutants and Masterminds game and one of my Star Trek Adventures games, and since this is Tabletop Tuesday, the main thing I want to talk about today is B.O.A., a Pocket Quest rules-light TTRPG he released yesterday that’s…

Well, it’s about snakes solving problems for humans on the down-low like the elite team of crack problem-solving creatures that they are. I mean, Brandon has a pet snake. I assume he knows his stuff.

Seriously, though, this game is freaking adorable. By the time I’d finished reading the rules, I could already picture a perfect voice-acting cast for a group of snakes doing a job for the humans who (unknowingly) had just hired a group of snakes to solve their problem.

The Rock, who is definitely the Trunk of the group (the burly snake who can squeeze stuff, hard). Charlize Theron, stealthily working her way up toward that sniffy, obnoxious cat between the B.O.A. agents and their target and revealing her Fang abilities just in time to send said cat down for a quick nap (no real harm done, just a snooze, mind you). Jason Statham, using his Monarch snake gifts to dazzle and distract the sudden attention of the pet dog, and… Y’know, I feel like William Jackson Harper would be parfect as the Rattler, trying to co-ordinate the agents and getting mad at them for not following the original plan and…

Okay, apparently I’m already invested. The point being, the very charming set-up—snakes solving problems for humans but doing so without ever revealing they’re, y’know, snakes—is so completely off-the-wall but also so-awesome that it’s hysterical, and the fact that they ask for payment in the forms of things that make their Den HQ better—and by HQ, we mean stuff for their vivarium, okay?—is just hysterical.

Also, can I just say the included example adventure framework is helping a man recover a gift for his husband’s birthday that his neighbour accidentally picked up with her own mail? I mean, how adorable is that? The snake team needs to figure out how to get into a fifth-floor apartment, locate the gift (a ring) and get it out of there, all without attracting the attention of any humans—and dodging the neighbour’s dog in the process.

Mechanics-wise, this one is exactly what it says on the tin: rules-light. Any time the players try something where there’s a chance to fumble or fail—called “a move”—the Gamemaster sets a target number (5 is easy, 11 is borderline impossible) and the players generally roll 2d6, though each achetype of snake has stuff they’re better at (translated into a +1 on the rolls) and a special move all of their own—like how Charlize Theron snake up there can do a quick nighty-night bite. Failing costs the group Spy Points, which they share, and if they run out points before they succeed in the job, the mission fails.

Are there also gadgets? What kind of spy snek game do you think this is that there wouldn’t be? You should feel shame. Is it ridiculous? Again, of course it is. But it’s cute, and it’s snakes, and there are also multiple “Snek Fact!” bubbles throughout the little print-and-play manual and…

Listen. If I didn’t have you at snake spy agency, I don’t know what else to say.